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  • slingshot shooting should be an olympic event

    many developing nations have trouble competing in the olympics due to the lack of funding for the newest performance enhancing carbon fiber legs, pulley-enhanced bows, super frictionless canoes and air slicing bicycle tires.

    with the relatively low cost of slingshots (about forty dollars [us] per high performance unit), a developing nation can easily fund a team of ten slingshot shooting olympians for about 400 dollars (not including the mandatory chinese-made spandex costumes).

    an additional perk of adding slingshot shooting as an olympic event is that since glass marbles will rise the cost of funding, small rocks are overly abundant and in theory, a green-resource efficient training tool since small rocks are available everywhere and no fossil fuels will be used in attaining these rocks.

    with an almost infinite amount of teenage vandals and suitable stationary and mobile targets located world wide, the actual cost of recruiting [bailing the athletes out of jail] and training this team would also be fairly inexpensive. now, i am sure some people will state that slingshot shooting should not be considered an actual sport; to these people i have only this to say:

    slingshot shooting is just as much a sport as this triple jump thing, archery, ice-curling (yes... this is CONSIDERED a valid sport) and badminton.

    if the olympic committees are not comfortable with these future gold-medal-winning-athletes just shooting at targets with slingshots... i am sure we can make them run around and jump a bit so that we can all get what we want. in fact, instead of having the athletes run and jump from target to target, we could definitely boost the cash flow by having them shoot at each other.

    that is all.

    p.s. developing nations can also save a small fortune by just getting them some t-shirts and a couple of sharpies instead of those snazzy jumpsuits... just an idea.

    "Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
    Spud17 liked this post
    Looks dangerous Tongue

    That's actually not a bad idea stormium. In real life I'm a physical training instructor/personal trainer, and while i mainly teach adults, this summer I've been teaching kids with olympic fever the joys of free sports. The olympics piss me off because you need wads of cash to reach elite level, and kids are all too aware of this. Some have suggested to me that Parkour should be an olympic sport because they'd have a chance to at least enter local qualifying meets or whatever, and all they'd need is talent and a comfy pair of trainers. One astute 15 year old boy i work with said 'I don't have a fancy horse, i have 1 poor parent and 2 siblings, I'd never parade around in a shiny skin tight costume, I'd never whore myself out to the massive corporations, and I'd never want to promote all that illuminati bullshit, so where would someone like me fit into the olympic dream?' I honestly didn't know what to say and it made me hate the games even more. Another suggested having a Peoples' Olympics, 'where horses, captain gaypants, and coca-cola are banned'.
    Most agree on one thing though: the olympics might as well be held on another planet because ordinary folk will never get there.
    i'm going to feel dirty for saying this... but ordinary people aren't suppose to be in the olympics... just the best of the best of the best of the blah of the blah-blah-blah. naturally, money helps if you want to train for the olympics - but a corporate sponsor helps more. as long as they can make more money off you than they have to spend, they will... but that's mainly for the expensive team sports and such. the cheaper more cost efficient sports like running and jumping and throwing stuff don't require that much funding... they can train on their way to work.

    lie to the kids. they have their whole lives to be bitter and jaded... let them hold onto childish dreams as long as they can.

    also, lets face it... the olympics generate an incredible profit... for the organizers. local economies are usually destroyed as you can't make up for billions lost in building stadiums, venues and such over a two week period in which local tourism avoids the city.

    the only city to actually turn a profit was los angeles in 1984 because no one wanted to host the olympics except for us and that meant we were able to dictate terms. we generated over 200 million and the ioc was left sucking on their batons... of course we quickly squandered the money on bad ideas like the 405-101 interchange. :rollseyes:

    "Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.

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