(06-17-2013, 02:40 PM)Wildcard Wrote: Just stop trying.
I will not jump through hoops or meet demands in exchange for my time and companionship. Likewise I do not ask my friends to do anything of the sort, but rather allow them the freedom to be themselves.
If I had a friend that asked to much of me then I would be honest with them and say thats how I felt-- if you have already done that then my step 2 is simple: ignore her. Ignore phone calls and texts and if she comes to visit don't come to the door.
I agree with Wildcard. My best friends are the ones who I can talk about anything to. And they'll give me criticism if they feel I need it. Life is too short to have to worry about being the emotional caretaker of someone.Not to say don't help them when they are down, but I get the jist of your post...I can also feel the frustration.
However, friendship is a two way street, and it sounds like on her end,she's not capable of hearing the truth (or any negative feedback).
She's using childish tactics to fill some sort of hole that she thinks she lacks, and you're being manipulated into filling that hole. If she snaps out of it tomorrow, or 10 years from now, that's for her to decide. If she's too insecure to hear your advice, then you've done all you can. What I can say is, that hole will never be filled if you keep doing what you're doing.
I don't know...Maybe when she starts, say something like "You're always asking, you're fine, believe me if there was an issue you'd hear about it". Something to eek your way into talking about it.
Or you can be more direct. When she puts you through her trial asking how she's doing, tell her. "You're the only one who asks me these questions"
Those are just some thoughts, since it sounds like you do want to salvage your friendship. My advice would be to do
whatever gives you peace, even if that means breaking off the friendship.
I wish you luck.