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    #31
    Yay Ten sheckels, a rubic's cube and a partridge in a pear tree.

    I had a horse named Usain that got tonsillitis, but the doctor was illiterate and spelled it 'Tonsilitus'. Anyway he give a shot to beloved equestrian partner and it must have hurt bad! You should have seen Usain bolt!!! She ran around the table and shat a litter of puppies on the docs head.

    turdnugget, pilfer, Jolly Rancher

    Wildcard is awesome.
    Reply
    #32
    Yay 5 hershey bars, some Moroccan dirhams, a nice fat doobie of red thai, and an everlasting gobstopper

    After shopping, i called in The Jolly Rancher for a bite to eat. The barman asked me if i'd come to pilfer, to which i replied 'piss off cockknocker, i have money and i'm no thief'. A big fight ensued and ended with me grabbing his head and rubbing his face in a pile of turdnuggets that were on the floor

    cocksmoker, haddock, typewriter
    Mark liked this post
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    #33
    To my distress i had writers block and did not know what to do until i stumbled into my roommates bedroom just as she was giving him head. i noticed how intense the sucking was and his pubic hairs caught on fire. instantly He yelled stop sucking you cocksmoker, my balls are on fire!! the room smelled of haddock and i instantly went to my typewriter to unleash a story entitled, "101 Ways to Start His Fire."

    LMAO Hysterical


    ping pong-mirage-colon

    Bunnies are better
    Reply
    #34
    10+ LMAO

    late one night at a bar called the mirage we were just sitting at a booth talking...there was me,john,jerry,jenna,Jeff,jan,jamie-lee, jason,janice,jennifer,jacob,jack,james,jared and mike..it was the weekly meeting of people with the same name...yep you guessed it ...were all called humperdink ....anyways we got served by this chinese chick...no-one can pronounce her name properly so we call her ping-pong [she doesn't know] ...i had the peppered steak,john had mushroom risotto,jerry had the vegtable lasagne[i tried it the week before...not that great],jerry and jenna had the meatballs,i forget what jason had[pizza i think]jeff jan and jamie-lee had the hot dogs and fries,janice had the mega burger with spicy sauce[i almost ordered that but the steak looked great in the picture so i changed my mind at the last minute],jacob had the chicken wings[waste of money right there],jack and james are twins and always order the same thing every week[bacon n eggs in a bun...boring],jared had a large fries and mike had large fries 2 burgers,6 pieces of chicken and a large diet pepsi [diet?...are you fucking kidding me] mikes a colon disaster waiting to happen.

    flowers....night-train....sword

    I don't sugarcoat anything.....do i look like willy fucking wonka to you
    Reply
    #35
    +10 Smile

    As the mighty sword fell onto the prisoners neck i knew then he didn't have the mind to get out of the situation. How stupid the prisoner was to steal flowers for his intended to prove his undying love for her. Problem was he died. now the only thing heard was the sounds of the beating drums, the funeral lutes, which sounded like a night-train. tragically it brought back memories when i was in the circus...selling flowers. not stealing them. Hysterical That made no sense.


    dragon-dance-Nike

    Bunnies are better
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    #36
    The dragon was in the woods completely alone when he found out there was a dragon dance, so he took on his Nike shoes and looked awesome and just owned the whole shit! Yay


    Water - mountain - hat.

    meh
    Reply
    #37
    +3.1415927, a high colonic and four raspberry Now-And-Laters

    Ah, water . . . there is nothing like it when you are looking out at a beautiful mountain scene in the early Appalachian dawn dripping with the cold weight of the world and smelling rich and deep.

      Show
    also hat
    curmudgeon, dysentery and scrotum

    Wildcard is awesome.
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    #38
    4 rocks out of 5 peanuts Yay

    i met sporkium for lunch the other day...now everyone has this picture of him being rather curmudgeon...not me...no sir....until that day...17 minutes we were at that table and he was off to the mens room 4 times [might have been the ladies i didnt look] .....anyways 25 mins in and he says rather angrily "fuck i gotta go again" ...i said "sit down man your embarrassing us" ...he went on and on...fuck this fuck that fuck the next thing ....it was then i figured out he was suffering from dysentery......i kicked him in the scrotum and left

    kite triple extensive

    I don't sugarcoat anything.....do i look like willy fucking wonka to you
    Reply
    #39
    15 Points, 12 burritos and a Mexican hat dance. Smile


    While out flying a kite 2 months ago i thought to myself...why not tie the kite to my bicycle and ride in the rain? So i did. Suddenly as i was riding thru the park lightning struck my bike and my heart stopped. luckily there in the park was a doctor. He performed an extensive triple bypass surgery on my heart and i made it. my hair still looks funny though.

    acquisition-firemen-stripper

    Bunnies are better
    Reply
    #40
    7 ounces of hair tonic, 3 of snilly's pubes and a rutabaga

    I acquisitioned some firemen strippers for zeb. Done.

    juniper, butt-floss, astronaut

    Wildcard is awesome.
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