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    #11
    Sad -2.3

    when i was in the marines doing gay nautical stuff like jump-rope a guy looked at me all funny like....so i smashed him upside the head with a tire-iron...he never fully recovered

    broken bush lion

    I don't sugarcoat anything.....do i look like willy fucking wonka to you
    Reply
    #12
    The last time I was in the bush my bicycle was broken and if that was not bad enough I saw a lion coming at me. Yay



    hippopotamus regular vomit
    Reply
    #13
    Undecided

    one day when i was in a spanish bar the barman recognised me from the tv show miami vice[i was an extra not crockett or tubbs]...so he befriended me ...next day he phoned for a chat....yada yada yada..."would you like to come with me and my family on a day out" he said...not really knowing the guy i was about to fuck him off with some lies about me having to do stuff [i had nothing at all planned the whole day] when he mentioned "the zoo" ...i thought to myself "yes im all good for a day trip to the zoo" ...so i said yes to him..."meet you at the zoo entrance at 2pm" he said "ok" i said....he arrived at 2.15pm....i was kinda pissed off with that[i hate lateness...no excuse for it]....anyways we got to the hippos and one was being sick...proper sick i mean...i saw a zookeeper and said to him "is that hippo ok" ...he said "yes he'll be fine...that hippopotamus does a regular vomit" ...we went to see the monkeys next.

    peter rocket giggety

    I don't sugarcoat anything.....do i look like willy fucking wonka to you
    Spud17 liked this post
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    #14
    LMAO Yay
    Reply
    #15
    (09-18-2012, 07:48 AM)zeberzee Wrote:  Undecided

    one day when i was in a spanish bar the barman recognised me from the tv show miami vice[i was an extra not crockett or tubbs]...so he befriended me ...next day he phoned for a chat....yada yada yada..."would you like to come with me and my family on a day out" he said...not really knowing the guy i was about to fuck him off with some lies about me having to do stuff [i had nothing at all planned the whole day] when he mentioned "the zoo" ...i thought to myself "yes im all good for a day trip to the zoo" ...so i said yes to him..."meet you at the zoo entrance at 2pm" he said "ok" i said....he arrived at 2.15pm....i was kinda pissed off with that[i hate lateness...no excuse for it]....anyways we got to the hippos and one was being sick...proper sick i mean...i saw a zookeeper and said to him "is that hippo ok" ...he said "yes he'll be fine...that hippopotamus does a regular vomit" ...we went to see the monkeys next.

    peter rocket giggety

    Grammatically incorrect Nay

    Play the gameThe Finger
    Reply
    #16
    If Peter keeps eating like a piggety,
    he's sure to swell up and get real biggety,
    no more rocket buns for Pete, no diggety,
    he'll never get out to reach that giggety

    Clock, Dave, Trousers
    Mark liked this post
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    #17
    Dave puts on his trousers and looked at the clock.



    pig, Mormon, hoof
    Reply
    #18
    +9 Yay


    Mormons enjoy eating a pigs hoof, after all they are not Jewish.


    Porky-Monster-Sugar

    Bunnies are better
    Reply
    #19
    Yay7.6


    one day while eating breakfast [i was having frosties...they're gggrrrreeaaattt]..anyways i was eating breakfast when i heard a knock on my door [i thought it was strange cause it was only 6.37am and the postman doesnt come till about 9am]..where was i ...oh yeah...breakfast...frosties....door...i went to the door...opened it and you know who was there...it was only the fucking honey monster [yes the sugar puffs guy]...i said "hey porky what the fuck do you want at 6.38am" ...he said "ive moved in next door and wondered if i can borrow a cup of sugar" ..i thought WTF ....the first time my new neighbor talks to me and he wants to borrow something...im not having that.... i said i didnt have any sugar [i did ...about 3/4 a bag] ...that was 3 weeks ago...i havnt seen him since



    cigarette muppet hammer

    I don't sugarcoat anything.....do i look like willy fucking wonka to you
    wildcard liked this post
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    #20
    +10 Big Grin

    I wanted a smoke but was out of baccy, and noticed Mongy Martin from down the pub with his stupid face about to spark up. To distract him, i jumped up and shouted 'Stop! Hammer time', grabbed the cigarette out of his gawping gob, and yelled 'Thanks muppet.' I then lived happily ever after. Tongue

    Slippers, Disco, Blood
    Reply





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