• Search
  • Member List
  • Help
  • Random Thread

  • The Joke Thread
    His Native American girlfriend was really shy, so when she came to visit him at college, he hid her away in a hotel pretty far away from his school. He knew how crude his schoolmates could be and it wouldn't do for her to be exposed to such filth as these cretins would be likely to subject her to.

    The whole week that she visited, she would stay in the room while he had class. When he was free, they would hang out in the room or even spirit away to the next city over and have a night out, but he was always very careful to never bring her around those animals at his school. He knew they couldn't be trusted and would love to say disgusting things to her or worse!

    On the last night of her visit, while studying in the library, he fell asleep. Alone at the hotel, she waited for him, but when hours had passed, she ventured out into the night to find him. She started at his dormitory and that was a mistake. As she wound through the hallways, boys popped out to ogle her. The farther she went into the den of horny young men, the bolder these perverts became.

    Here, an ass flashed in the doorway; there, she saw a young man openly stroking his cock! Her skin was too dark to reveal her flush, but she was mortified, and still she looked for him.

    Up to the second floor, where the boys were in a lather with this cute young woman in their midst. They laughed as one after another bared there asses to this innocent, shy, young lady. She tried not to look, but when she did, she was surprised to find that she was starting to feel flushed for a different reason. The only sign she gave was that her pace slowed as she looked at all these nude or half nude men showing off for her— even if it was horribly rude.

    Meanwhile, in the library, the young man awoke and discovered that he'd overslept. He rushed home, passing his dormitory, just as his lovely Pawnee girl came out the door. When she saw him, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulled him to her and smothered him with kisses. He was surprised, but not unpleasantly. Moments later he was even more shocked when she began to fumble with his belt, and then his zipper.

    In the middle of the street on a warm, humid night, she pulled him to the pavement and mounting him, rode his cock until she came, screaming his name to the top of her lungs.

    He lay back, gasping for air; she collapsed on top of him. Face to face, breathing heavily he stared at her in awe.

    "What happened to you? You have always been so shy!"

    She said, "Yes, I was, but that was many moons ago..."

    — original
    I am now the owner of my very own line of clothes.

    ...but damn, I'll be glad when I get my dryer fixed.

    — original
    They say there’s safety in numbers. Tell THAT to 6 million Jews. - Jimmy Carr
    The British tattoo artist was very prickly,

    ...probably because he walked around with his 'art on his sleeve.
    Plenty O’Toole liked this post
    This lady had a bad case of diarrhea, so she called her doctor-

    "Hey doc, I've had diarrhea all day long. do you think I can take a bath?"

    the doc says: "I don't know...do you have enough to fill up the tub"?

    an old Jackie the jokeman Martling joke
    (This post was last modified: 08-04-2019, 02:47 PM by LZA.)
    Wildcard and Plenty O’Toole liked this post
    A woman goes to the doctor for a check up. The doctor tells her, “Well, I hope you’re prepared for a future of changing diapers and crying in the night!”
    “You mean I’m pregnant?!”
    “No, you have bowel cancer.”
    LZA and Wildcard liked this post
    A guy's going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she's really crazy about him. The first night on the Amtrak, she's in the top bunk and he's in the bottom bunk. She says, "Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I'm chilly! I think I need a blanket!" He says, "Miss Schmitt, how'd you like to pretend you're *Mrs.* Forsythe for a little while? She says, "Oh, I'd like that." He says, "Then get your own damn blanket."
    (This post was last modified: 08-06-2019, 02:45 AM by LZA.)
    Wildcard liked this post
    [Image: vEyHmba.jpg]
    Why don't Jewish people eat pussy?

    It's too close to the gas chamber...
    Wildcard liked this post
    (08-16-2019, 07:57 PM)LZA Wrote:  Why don't Jewish people eat pussy?

    It's too close to the gas chamber...

    I did Nazi that coming...

    Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
    Rant Central
    Speak Your Mind