The Joke Thread

[LZA]

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

[Wildcard]

Today I learned that powered sugar is capable of combustion.

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I guess Splenda would create a healthy explosion as well.
— original

[LZA]

Today I learned that powered sugar is capable of combustion.

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I guess Splenda would create a healthy explosion as well.
— original

You made that up? That's pretty clever... I'm surprised  

Actually, Splenda can be pretty dangerous. Read here:
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/02/10/new-study-of-splenda-reveals-shocking-information-about-potential-harmful-effects.aspx

• Gastrointestinal problems
  
• Migraines
  
• Seizures
  
• Dizziness
  
• Blurred vision
  
• Allergic reactions
  
• Blood sugar increases
  
• Weight gain
  

I think the "combustion" effect from Splenda is the destruction of ones good health...

PS: FOR THE RECORD - picking apart your joke is my attempt at invention my own joke... I actually feel dirty posting this as this may be something VF would post if her was still here

Let's stick with the classics: Yo mama is so dirty that I told her to do the robot, now R2D2 has aids.

[Wildcard]

now R2D2 has aids.

TIL: This thread is R2D2

[Wildcard]

Why didn't the pot plant have anyone to talk to about literature and the arts?

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Because all his buds were so dense.

[politux]

Why didn't the pot plant have anyone to talk to about literature and the arts?

This one is going to stick with me.

[Wildcard]

This one is going to stick with me.

Great! I love planting something in deep and letting it grow roots. Also, I like puns.

[LZA]

Why did the pot plant's torrent download so quickly?


It had a lot of seeds.

(This post was last modified: 10-05-2018, 07:48 PM by LZA.)

[Wildcard]

^ noice

[politux]

Why did the pot plant delete his torrent download?

A) The files were lossy to lossy transcoded MP3.

(Not really a joke more of a cautionary tale)