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  • Rant: Shitty expectations
    #1
    Am I the only one that gets pissed that my SO expects more out of me than what they're willing to do themselves? They'll constantly nit pick things that I did or didn't do, but they're equally guilty of the same things!

    i flyeth all day while thee caterwauling all day, as i the horror on all thy desires and dreams.
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    #2
    I don't think that is just your SO. It seems like the whole world has turned into a bunch of hypocrites.

    My ex was that way, too. It was fine for her to get drunk as fuck and make a fool out of herself in front of all of our friends, but if I ever got too drunk and wanted to leave somewhere early (to avoid making a fool of myself) then I was a "pussy" and a "lightweight."

    That kind of inconsistency can really wear you down.
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    #3
    so = senior officer or significant other?

    "Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
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    #4
    (04-17-2019, 11:13 AM)sporkium Wrote:  so = senior officer or significant other?

    I'm guessing significant other... When I had one of those she would do the same thing to me... Granted, some of her gripes (probably most) were valid.

    (04-17-2019, 03:53 AM)FerdinandtheFilth Wrote:  They'll constantly nit pick things that I did or didn't do, but they're equally guilty of the same things!

    Like telling me she'll kill me if she ever found me cheating, but then cheats? LOL GOOD TIMES!!!

    Then if you call them on other shit, and they can't argue since they know they're wrong, they bring up shit that's happened YEARS ago... I guess some people just can't be wrong...
    (This post was last modified: 04-17-2019, 04:02 PM by LZA.)
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    #5
    (04-17-2019, 03:17 PM)LZA Wrote:  [...]they bring up shit that's happened YEARS ago...

    OMG this. I know this isn't the bitch about women thread, but damn it it does seem like women never forget a motherfucking think ever, ever, ever.

    Oh, unless it is something they did wrong! Then they have trouble remembering those things...
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    #6
    I just pretend not to remember what they remember

    consistency is the hobdob
    of small minds[
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    #7
    (04-18-2019, 10:38 PM)srijantje Wrote:  I just pretend not to remember what they remember

    Didn't work for me... Sometimes I think they'll make shit up because I really wouldn't remember what they were accusing me of.

    Sounds weak, but I just started agreeing and apologizing for shit I didn't remember... Sounds like a bad joke, but it only got worse when I'd stick up for myself. Knowing she was the way she was, I took the victory when I made it so things were just QUIET

    Good thing about still being good friends and being divorced is I told her that afterward, and any opposition was met with true indifference...
    (This post was last modified: 04-19-2019, 02:52 PM by LZA.)
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    #8
    (04-17-2019, 03:17 PM)LZA Wrote:  
    (04-17-2019, 11:13 AM)sporkium Wrote:  so = senior officer or significant other?

    Like telling me she'll kill me if she ever found me cheating, but then cheats? LOL GOOD TIMES!!!!

    Significant other, and while she never said she'd kill me, we both agreed that if we were ever so unhappy in our relationship that we'd be driven to cheating, we'd end it rather than cheat... except she didn't. She had always thought I cheated, at least once, but I'm honestly entirely faithful. The signs started small, just basic things that could have just been attributed to not feeling well. But over time they grew. It got to the point we were never intimate, and it wasn't just because she wasn't feeling well, I'd notice that her "privacy box" had been moved, or left open. Over time things just got worse. The pieces didn't click until after I caught the first actual trail of cheating. It started with a name that popped up in some messenger conversations, and eventually ended in me actively seeing her message him while she was at work. Escalated into a big blow up, we broke up but have a child so we stayed together, at least living. She was going to go to him. But in the end she realized that no one would be happy in the end. We went the therapy, sorted our shit, and are stronger now than ever before. That doesn't mean that makes things any easier though 😂
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    #9
    (04-21-2019, 02:55 AM)FerdinandtheFilth Wrote:  we both agreed that if we were ever so unhappy in our relationship that we'd be driven to cheating, we'd end it rather than cheat... except she didn't.

    Oh, we had that conversation too. Best to be honest and break it off. Sometimes honest conversations are hard and end up getting blown out of proportion, so it's easier to say nothing and hold resentments. Not saying that's right or rational, but who says people are rational and always do the right thing. I was guilty of not expressing my feelings to avoid fights, so even though she cheated, it was just as much my fault as it was hers. Plus, having a side thing is like having your cake and eat it too... I guess my takeaway from it is that no matter how much you think you know someone, you really don't know them. That won't stop me from trying again, but at least if it happens again I won't be surprised this time.

    (04-21-2019, 02:55 AM)FerdinandtheFilth Wrote:  She had always thought I cheated, at least once, but I'm honestly entirely faithful. The signs started small, just basic things that could have just been attributed to not feeling well.

    I went off the rails in my own way... I actually knew she was cheating but accepted that since I can do my own thing and when she was cheating, our fighting stopped since we both said "fuck it"

    (04-21-2019, 02:55 AM)FerdinandtheFilth Wrote:  We went the therapy, sorted our shit, and are stronger now than ever before. That doesn't mean that makes things any easier though 😂

    My ex is remarried, but we are closer than we were when we were married. Sometimes you have to live in the Omega to appreciate the Alpha... So what you say makes perfect sense... And that's OK, you both learned the lesson. Better than carrying on and living like zombies. That's not living, that's pretending to live
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