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  • My female coworkers are pigs.
    In the bathroom.

    Seriously. Almost every time I have to use the restroom....someone has left their shoe print on the toilet seat. Or they leave a pube or they are hover craft from fucking starwars and piss everywhere on the seat.

    Ive come to the conclusion...I work with a bunch of chicks with dicks. Why else would there be a shoe print or piss all over??? Maybe their man...errrr woman wanker???? Undecided yes, woman wanker, is too big or new that they don't know how to properly use it?

    I'm just tired of cleaning the pubes and seat off almost daily. Dodgy
    they need to install a squatter toilet,who in his right mind would sit on a normal public loo anyway?
    I'm inclined to agree with SJ, but think only the terminally lazy sit down to pee. It's unlikely your female coworkers are fapping in the stalls because women usually want to take their time when it comes to fapping, not risk being interupted by work related bother.

    The shoe prints intrigue me. Is there a high up window in the stalls? If so, perhaps there are some shirtless builders across the street that they're ogling, who are so hot that they cause your coworkers to piss themselves while standing on the seat.

    Don't bother cleaning their mess up - this will have them believing in the existence of a magickal toilet fairy who sneaks in when nobody's around to clean pee and pubes up, and will encourage them to carry on being scruffy herberts. Best thing to do is to start leaving all manner of items on the toilet seat when you're done, and confuse/disgust the crap out of them. A used teabag, leftover sammich crusts, a few particles of poo even.

    Before you get too disheartened with the state of the toilets, pop into the men's for a few moments. Men's toilets almost always smell of piss - spend a few minutes inhaling the air in there and you'll probably conclude the women's toilets aren't that bad after all.
    Put four large raw eggs in a two liter bottle. Add an equal amount of your own urine. Shake well and leave it uncapped in a warm, sunny place for one day. Then cap it, and leave the bottle alone for three to four weeks. Strain the contents through a paper towel directly into an opaque spray bottle that is clearly labeled as bathroom cleaner.

    Armed with your new bottle of cleaner, spray it in every nook and cranny of the restroom in question. The men's room will be the better smelling room for a while, but the ladies' room will be thoroughly cleaned before too long. Do this on a regular basis and people will get in the habit of cleaning the room.
    (This post was last modified: 09-10-2016, 05:50 AM by System Folder.)

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    wildcard liked this post
    @srijantje We do have those "cowboy hats" to sit on brought to you by MGT, lol. I do use those but I still have to clean it all up.

    @Spud17 I too wonder about the foot print on the seat. Ive recently noticed that someone also kicked the wall...I'm thinking with the same shoe. I mean this shoe print is a good 5 foot too. Very flexible woman! I now am looking for the same tread pattern too. Lol.

    @System Folder That sounds gross as fuck! I bet they would clean it up very very well.....or just douse it with bleach so bad it burns your lungs.
    I do that regularly,climb on to the rim to have a crap because I don't want to sit down on a pissy seat,there,footprints explained
    (09-10-2016, 06:03 PM)mymouthneedsafilter Wrote:  @System Folder That sounds gross as fuck! I bet they would clean it up very very well.....or just douse it with bleach so bad it burns your lungs.

    It's just three week old piss and rotten eggs mixed together, but they must react chemically in some way with each other to create a smell that is much worse than either of them separately.

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    (09-08-2016, 06:38 PM)mymouthneedsafilter Wrote:  someone has left their shoe print on the toilet seat.

    i promised my mother that if i ever encountered a woman that can pee standing up, i'd marry her... the chick that can pee standing up, not my mother. that would be gross.

    "Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
    lots of girls can pee standing up,so it's not too late for you

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