Mistreated Or Just Racist?

[Mark]

I took a job doing a tub surround for a guy named Lee that I've never met before. He came into the lumber yard buying tile and I got the job that way. Lee had took a job at a nursing home doing a remodel and needed someone to help him lay the tile. I got there this morning and as I started about my work, one of the elderly ladies came and asked me to help her plug up her radio. It seemed kind of an odd request because even with her infirmaties it was an easy task and well within her reach. Never-the-less I wasn't about to turn down on old lady in need.

     I went into her room and plugged up her radio. When I turned around to leave, she had shut the door part-way and was standing there teary-eyed.

"Please don't tell her bothered you!" she pleaded with me.

I came close and asked her who she meant.

"Just please don't tell her," is all she would say. It seemed she must be talking about her caregiver and I asked her if the lady was mistreating her.

"No," she said, "she just abuses me."

I was perplexed by that answer, but she didn't seem to be exactly in her right mind. Troubled, I responded to her that I would get to the bottom of it.

"My worker comes today, but she just lies to her." She was saying as I left her room and got back to my work with a mind full of turmoil.

As I worked I thought about what I should do. At first I thought of just calling the caretaker (whom I have only met today) out on the accusations, but then it occurred to me that it might get the lady hurt or mistreated even more and that the lady could easily just lie to me.

Then as I was still wondering what to do, I overheard the social worker come in. I'll admit I strained to hear the conversation between the elderly lady and the social worker. Shortly after the conversation began, the volume of this elderly lady's voice dropped so low that I could only hear what the social worker replied:

"I realize that, ma'am, but you can't hate people just because of their color."

This struck a chord with me and I made a pass by the table to go outside rather slowly hoping to catch what this lady responded.

"But I don't want no nigger waiting on me," she was saying to the African American social worker.

Now this changed everything. As I picked up more of the story, it seems that this lady has petitioned for a transfer from the home she is in now and wants to go live in a nursing home because she doesn't like her caretaker. She is apparently also very racist.

This lady could be just making up stuff because she doesn't like the race of her caretaker. Or the caretaker could be taking it out on her physically or mentally because of her obvious and outspoken racism.

I don't want to cause trouble for the caretaker if she has don't nothing wrong and is just the victim of a racial bias.

Then again, even racist old ladies have a right to be treated kindly and taken care of . . . if it is true I don't want it on my conscience.

What should I do, if anything?

[bob5695]

i wouldn't do anything.

[zeberzee]

i wouldn't do anything.

i agree

[Leanne]

People don't get nice just because they get old. This old'un sounds like she's used to getting her own way. I do think it's a shame to leave her with her caretaker simply because the caretaker shouldn't have to put up with the old bitch.

[2010kaiser]

If it was me, i'd request to see the manager of the care home in private and tell her of the racial slur you overheard made by the old lady.
This woman could be lying about the careworker and, if not challenged and investigated, either an innocent care worker could loose their job and career. Or an abusive careworker could be allowed continue abusing others.
It's a tricky one but, as i've worked in the care field for a number of years, my gut tells me to expose it (what was said to you and what you heard) and let the powers that be investigate it.

[snilloc]

Old saying “If in doubt keep it out”

(Don’t stick your nose in other peoples business)

[System Folder]

I wouldn't touch that one with a 10 foot pole. The old lady may be racist. It could also be that Alzheimer's disease, or some other kind of dementia, might be causing her to be racist. You don't know the whole story and that's why I would stay out of it. The next time she asks you to do something, just tell her that you'll find a CNA (certified nursing assistant) to help her. I worked in the industry as a CNA, so I know how people can be sometimes.

[srijantje]

def.stay out of it

[sporkium]

in fact, i wouldn't let that lady corner me behind a closed door every again. there is really no reason to be interacting with the patients under any circumstances.

[Mark]

Well, everyone seems to agree that I shouldn't get involved and honestly I feel that way since learning of her hatred.

My Grandfather's wife kept the elderly for twenty-one years and she gave me basically the same advice as you guys did.

You may not understand why I wanted to do something, but if you had seen the face of this bent little old lady then you would get it.