05-16-2019, 07:48 AM
Hey guys im new here and just need somewhere for advice, or help. I mean life isn't bad but Having PTSD sucks, it feels like im stuck in an endless cycles of daydreams on and off throughout they day. Sometimes they follow me to bed and man has that been interesting, the other night I had a vivid dream of me handcuffed to steering wheel of my car and lit on fire. that shit woke me up in cold sweats. but again that's not as bad as it seems. my biggest issues with Living with PTSD is contact with people, in general. Some people are nice others are just assholes but It is life, not everyone is happy. I have the biggest problem with dealing with people because they are afraid of me. Well not of me but my PTSD, I mean like I don't lash out on people like I used to when I was younger. I mean I moved across the USA and I barely know these people and they feel threatened by me or uncomfortable. I have moved 8 months ago and haven't made friends yet. as nice as I am I have hung with some people but again they don't like me. or at least I feel they don't. Everything is super awkward to me, I feel like people don't like me because 2 weeks ago at work my boss pulled me into the office and completely offended me and then told me feels like I threaten him. I took a good 5 minutes to respond because I have no idea how I should continue. l mean I felt so fucked in my head all I can think about is how I come across people. wich when I go see my therapist he says im just over reacting and that im doing just fine with how I act regularly. ive been in therapy since I was 12 years old im not 23 about to be 24 and man I feel super helpless and lost. therapy has been a joke to me because I spend all this money to talk to someone I barely know. in return they give you meds to help and I can say I absolutely hate most of them, I get scared of pharmaceuticals because when I was given 15MG of Xanax I tried to commit suicide. scary times and I try hard to stay away fom situations and make the best of myself every day. Honestly I feel stuck. Maybe I coule be trapped in my head or the drugs the doctors give me make me weird.