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  • Just sort of feeling a bit lonely really...
    I'm 17 now, and in college. I have enough friends, and they're all great really, but I haven't ever been on a date. Well, technically I've been on one, but the person who I went with immediately started dating my friend after, so I don't really count it. All my friends have been in relationships of some description, or are currently in them, and apart from the one person I did ask out, nobody has ever shown the slightest bit of interest in me. I mean, I'm sure I'm not secretly gay, I do find women attractive, but often these people show very little interest in me, and so I just have minimal contact with them.

    What am I doing wrong? Is it something to do with my attitude, the way I speak to people? Is it possible for people to be single for their entire life? Is there some sort of cliched phrase that will explain away this problem? Do I just need to meet more people?

    Summoning the sporkium is sure to result in a brutally honest opinion, but any comments are not only welcome, but requested.

    "Did you really think I was the demon? The Demon of Empire City?"
    girls are like chineese food... often both sweet and sour; while all will leave you hungry later. try mexican... and cougars!

    "Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
    ColeMacGrath liked this post
    ColeMacGrath Wrote:What am I doing wrong?

    You're comparing yourself, and your experiences with other peoples, and that's the key to a lifetime of unhappiness and feeling unfulfilled.

    Why do you feel you're doing something wrong - because you haven't had a date yet? So what. I didn't date until I was 20, and by then a lot of my friends had bred babies and were married. I didn't feel left out in any way, I was too busy living my life how I wanted to.

    Live your life at your own pace and do things when you feel ready, not because you feel you're expected to do certain things by a certain age, or because your peers are doing things that you are not.

    ColeMacGrath Wrote:Is it something to do with my attitude, the way I speak to people?

    I highly doubt it. You've been here a while and you strike me as a positive person, and while it's common to start doubting yourself, you can bet someone in your social circle (or just outside it) has a crush on you but is too shy to let you know. They're probably doubting themselves too, and wondering if there's something wrong with them. We all have our insecurities, so you're not alone in that respect anyway.

    ColeMacGrath Wrote:Do I just need to meet more people?

    You'll meet more people as you go through life but I wouldn't go out of your way and join clubs and such in order to meet new people. Meeting more people will occur naturally as you live your life.

    One more thing - when you look for love, you won't find it. When you occupy your time with your studies/getting on with your life, it'll sneak up on you, bash you over the head and before you know it, you're with someone you adore and you'll wonder why you didn't hook up with that person sooner. It's sod's law, it's a cliche, but it's true.
    ColeMacGrath liked this post
    (02-09-2016, 03:56 PM)ColeMacGrath Wrote:  What am I doing wrong?

    I don't know what you're doing, period. You've described yourself a little, but I'd have to see you as a whole to make any kind of recommendation.

    For instance, for all I know you might be hideously ugly. Or you might walk with a limp and have a hump on your back. Or you may be hideously ugly and you have a hump on your back.

    Or maybe you look decent, but have some sort of weird-ass voice that drives people fucking crazy.

    But if you're being honest with yourself and you can't see yourself as ugly, dorky or annoying, then it probably comes down to you not knowing how to go about getting women to notice you. The key is having an 'interesting interest'.

    A hobby, skill or specialty alone is not enough-- it must be something that is interesting to women. It can be as simple as being a good conversationalist, a popular life-of-the-party type person, a guitarist Wink, someone who fixes up old cars, anything else in the entire world that pertains to cars, having a nice car, standing beside a nice car . . .

    Find something that interests you and that you are reasonably good at and practice at it. Then try out playing a song at the party (if you don't already know, GO to parties every chance that you get) or telling a joke. Women are all different, but one thing remains common, when you grab the attention of the room, you also are grabbing hers. Smile

    Good luck.
    Honestly I felt like this for a while too - and settled.


    I settled to just at least BE in a relationship, and he ended up as someone who wanted to get into my pants on a frequent basis and then cheated on me and tried to twist it around. I had family issues and he told me "when you're stressed and at your worst, you aren't pretty at all anymore."



    I like to think life has a way of getting the people we least expect to end up as love interests. Because recently that's been happening to me, and now I'm sort of dating (not too sure atm, but we are flirting) a good friend that I used to never see that way.

    Just stay positive, and keep doing what makes you happy. Love tends to come when you least expect it to.
    srijantje liked this post

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