HIGH Expectations? Parents

[Agentchow]

Ello mates,

First time I ever did something remotely like this, as I am usually reserved unless I am with close friends.

Let me paint the picture, I am an impulsive(extremely) or intuitive as I like to say because it has a more positive connotation attached to it, teenager. Also, I'm a total D-bag, which is where my story/rant starts.

I blame my parents for my D-bag personality.

Recently, I qualified and competed in the Junior Olympics for Fencing. (yes haha, fencing.)

I ran into a wall in the round of 64 and ended up placing around 50th place. In other words, I got rekt... according to my parents.

I actually thought I did pretty good, considering that I have only been in the sport (or "sport" as some people would say) for three years. My parents, however, were not proud or if they were, they had a weird way of showing it.

Maybe a week after the Junior Olympics, they asked me if I wanted to go to a local tournament. At locals, I stomp pretty much everyone at all ages (maybe except some Duke fencers but I can hold my own pretty well) and I said sure. They then said out of the blue for no particular reason "why do you want to go? You finished nearly last last tournament and we see absolutely no improvement in you. You still suck and don't think you are good." I'm not sh*tting you. Except they said this to me in Chinese.

That statement didn't surprise me, my parents sh*t on me all the time. I read about parents sh*tting on their children all the time also. I notice that I am not the only one.

But what did surprise me was my reaction, which was "k den" like I simply didn't give two sh*ts.

I guess this is an accomplishment, I have developed selective hearing/thought or thick skin.

But then why dafaq do I think about this so much then. It consumes nearly half of my thoughts throughout the entire day, my fencing skill and relationship with my parents, its like an obsession.

Thanks for reading,
I might do more of these, these are fun.

(This post was last modified: 03-15-2015, 09:35 PM by Agentchow.)

[wildcard]

@Agentchow how old are you?

[fifi]

I think you sound pretty reasonable. I think it's good that you reacted calmly in the moment, and I understand the parental discouragement eating at you. Our parents are important to us. They sound kind pretty cold, but maybe that's their way of trying to motivate you? Spite can be a good motivator.

[sporkium]

op... life is but a dream meme:

[vogon1999]

The sad reality of this is that it is all to common. Sorry to say but the primary reason you're parents are being so hostile to you may very well be their desire to relive their childhood and rectify their past mistakes through you, their child. This psychological complex of sorts is very prevalent in suburban America it seems. Many fathers are pushing their children towards unreachable goals. With rigorous training such as weight lifting and daily 5K runs. Perhaps the saddest part of it all is that the parents end up indoctrinating their children into thinking that they enjoy sports when they really do not. This cycle will only continue from generation to generation. The children mentioned above will have their own children and indoctrinate them with the same ideology as their parents once did.

[ColeMacGrath]

It's not suprising really. One can only take so much before one develops a thick skin. As vogon said, it's becoming too common. They do just want to see you succeed because of their own regrets (although this isn't an excuse.) If you really enjoy fencing, than you should continue with your hobby and who cares if you don't win every time? You seem quite new. If you don't like it, becuase they are just pressuring you, then try something else, and maybe they'll "encourage" you on in that.

@sporkium I has poem for you.

A* is for asians
A is for acceptable.
B is for beatings
C is for see you later.
D is for don't come back to this town
E is for leave everything you own here.
F is for forgetting my son
U is for you are dead, I'm hiring a hitman

[srijantje]

Cor,that's Kras

[ColeMacGrath]

Kras? I don't understand

[LZA]

There should be no embarrassment if you're a fencer. That is considered a sport... My sense of humor would tell you to whip your parents asses with the fencing sword, but we all know that's irresponsible and an in appropriate thing to do...

Who are your parents to say you suck?? Are they also into fencing , do they teach, otherwise, I can't see how their claim that you suck even be valid. Do you go through tournaments. how would you consider your skill amongst your peers? How long have you been doing this? @wildcard 's question is a good one. How old are you?

Sounds like you have your whole life in front of you.