01-07-2012, 05:18 PM
Don't feel like you have to reply, or even bother to read this thread. If you want to, that's fine, I'd like to hear what you have to say- it might help! But this was mainly just a way for me vent about some things that have happened lately.
Since I've come home for our winter break, I have realized that I'm that person in the family that holds everyone together and is the mediator, so to speak. Or at least I will be, with a little more time. For example, right now my mom, who is past typical child-rearing age, has custody of my 9 year old nephew. She has him beacuse my sister passed away in 2008. I figure that in two or three years, depending on how long it takes me to graduate and get a job, I will take him in and raise him. I am fully confident that I could do it, there is no doubt in my mind. I'm not even resentful that this has fallen to me. I love the kid with all my heart! There's also another issue concerning him that I'm not quite sure how to deal with...
The man who is his father is not involved with him in any way. I don't think he even knows what he looks like. But after he was born, my sister did meet a wonderful man that Lane grew up knowing as "daddy", and that relationship lasted up until a few weeks before her death. As the years have gone by, this person has become less involved with my nephew, due to different circumstances that I'm sure took priority, and I'm not saying that sarcastically. Anyway, my nephew has become confused I guess about what exactly this man is to him, because one night recently he addressed this man first as "daddy", then as "Rodney", then as "Uncle Rodney"! I was blown away, but I know that he's got to either be hurt by the growing distance between him and this man he belives to be his dad, or he's wondering "who is my dad forreal??" I don't know what to do, but I'll figure it out.
Now. My sister's other kid is 13 and living with her other grandparents. I caught just a glimpse of what they've been telling her about the past, and it's very one-sided. I told her that every story has THREE (sometimes more) sides. One person's, another person's, and the truth. I hope she remembers that, and doesn't always believe what she hears from everyone, especially since she doesn't get to hear it from us. I just don't want her to think down on us, but I know in order for that to happen, I'm gonna have to get closer than ever to her.
My oldest brother just moved to Colorado, so he's a million miles away from me! I'll be fine, but I know my mom depended a lot on him, and her heart is broken. No matter how old we are, my mom always worries about us. I just hope he keeps in touch and visits often, because now that my sister is gone he's become my closest sibling.
There's more family drama where that came from. I've only talked about my mom's side! But I won't drag out all our baggage for ya'll to have to read. These are the things that are bothering me most anyway.The other stuff might surface it's way to the top with a little more time. Or, maybe it'll just disappear once I get distracted by school again. OH! SCHOOL!. . .
Furthermore, it's gonna be a stressful semester for me, because I'm taking 17 credit hours...on top of pledging, and hopefully getting a job. AH! Anywho...
This is how I've experienced growing up thus far. I imagine it will only get harder, and I'm up to the challenge. I'm gonna come out on top, wiser, stronger, and more sensational than ever.
Since I've come home for our winter break, I have realized that I'm that person in the family that holds everyone together and is the mediator, so to speak. Or at least I will be, with a little more time. For example, right now my mom, who is past typical child-rearing age, has custody of my 9 year old nephew. She has him beacuse my sister passed away in 2008. I figure that in two or three years, depending on how long it takes me to graduate and get a job, I will take him in and raise him. I am fully confident that I could do it, there is no doubt in my mind. I'm not even resentful that this has fallen to me. I love the kid with all my heart! There's also another issue concerning him that I'm not quite sure how to deal with...
The man who is his father is not involved with him in any way. I don't think he even knows what he looks like. But after he was born, my sister did meet a wonderful man that Lane grew up knowing as "daddy", and that relationship lasted up until a few weeks before her death. As the years have gone by, this person has become less involved with my nephew, due to different circumstances that I'm sure took priority, and I'm not saying that sarcastically. Anyway, my nephew has become confused I guess about what exactly this man is to him, because one night recently he addressed this man first as "daddy", then as "Rodney", then as "Uncle Rodney"! I was blown away, but I know that he's got to either be hurt by the growing distance between him and this man he belives to be his dad, or he's wondering "who is my dad forreal??" I don't know what to do, but I'll figure it out.
Now. My sister's other kid is 13 and living with her other grandparents. I caught just a glimpse of what they've been telling her about the past, and it's very one-sided. I told her that every story has THREE (sometimes more) sides. One person's, another person's, and the truth. I hope she remembers that, and doesn't always believe what she hears from everyone, especially since she doesn't get to hear it from us. I just don't want her to think down on us, but I know in order for that to happen, I'm gonna have to get closer than ever to her.
My oldest brother just moved to Colorado, so he's a million miles away from me! I'll be fine, but I know my mom depended a lot on him, and her heart is broken. No matter how old we are, my mom always worries about us. I just hope he keeps in touch and visits often, because now that my sister is gone he's become my closest sibling.
There's more family drama where that came from. I've only talked about my mom's side! But I won't drag out all our baggage for ya'll to have to read. These are the things that are bothering me most anyway.The other stuff might surface it's way to the top with a little more time. Or, maybe it'll just disappear once I get distracted by school again. OH! SCHOOL!. . .
Furthermore, it's gonna be a stressful semester for me, because I'm taking 17 credit hours...on top of pledging, and hopefully getting a job. AH! Anywho...
This is how I've experienced growing up thus far. I imagine it will only get harder, and I'm up to the challenge. I'm gonna come out on top, wiser, stronger, and more sensational than ever.
"Let the music be your master. Will you heed the master's call?"