04-30-2012, 01:01 PM
Sometimes I wonder.... does true happiness really exist? It seems like I have been on this journey for the past 2 years and it only gets harder. I guess thats ok...other than feeling hopeless the last few weeks. So I keep asking myself questions and finding out answers that unnerve me. I realize thats how it goes.
I have felt locked inside myself for some time now and trying to find a way out of feeling this way has become tiresome. I am more times than not, very nervous, which is so annoying. I believe in a higher power, GOD, and have prayed that I would find help and solace. In fact while praying with my Mother last night i felt some relief. Which to say the least is something, in my book. I have not went down that path in quite a while. That old path I once knew felt real and good, but like I don't belong there at the same time and that scared me. I will always ask for Gods help, but don't know if I will receive it? Thats the only positive thing I feel I should hold to(asking God) even when darkness covers me. I will keep searching....the real me wants freedom from how I feel.
But I still wonder...does happiness really exist??
I have felt locked inside myself for some time now and trying to find a way out of feeling this way has become tiresome. I am more times than not, very nervous, which is so annoying. I believe in a higher power, GOD, and have prayed that I would find help and solace. In fact while praying with my Mother last night i felt some relief. Which to say the least is something, in my book. I have not went down that path in quite a while. That old path I once knew felt real and good, but like I don't belong there at the same time and that scared me. I will always ask for Gods help, but don't know if I will receive it? Thats the only positive thing I feel I should hold to(asking God) even when darkness covers me. I will keep searching....the real me wants freedom from how I feel.
But I still wonder...does happiness really exist??

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