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  • Rant Creepy, short,old,masculine lesbians are drawn to me.Why?
    #61
    @LZA Thank you. Thank you for not judging me. You understand the complexity of my situation. Thank you.

    @LZA Every second my husband is home, he's being an asshole over anything and everything. He just makes me so miserable and sad. He's destroying me. I love him, and I don't want to leave - but I honestly can't figure out how I can stay in a relationship with him.
    (This post was last modified: 07-24-2019, 04:43 PM by Stella 1977.)
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    #62
    @Stella 1977

    Life is too short to deal with dumb shit. Sounds like he can't forgive you and can't move forward... Was he always like this or just after your issues??? If he was like this all the time, I can understand why you did what you did... Not that it's an excuse, but does he have a tough job? I made the mistake of taking work issues out on her.

    You can only do what you can do. History is history, Don't feel like you owe him anything if he's making you miserable. Just like those lesbians... Take care of yourself first, regardless of who it is...

    If I was who I am now and wanted to advise my ex-wife on how to deal with me when I was fucked up, I'd tell her to leave. I don't blame her for leaving. She was at your point, banging her hear on how to make it work and shouldering more than her share of the burden. Truth is, I had to learn on my own. Relationships are a 2-way street... If my ex held all my past behaviors against me, we'd be bitter enemies (and vice versa).

    I'm not telling you what you don't already know, or what you should even do. You need to take care of yourself. If you do nothing, like the bull dyke situation, don't see it as a failure or you as a sellout to yourself. As long as you know what's going on and why you aren't acting, that may be enough to get along and take the time you need. In my cases, it's easier for me to admit I was holding off due to not wanting to deal than to admit I couldn't deal... My wife was like that, too. But it became so bad there was no other option. Life got hard but it was too bad for me... In fact, looking at it I needed to be on my ass and rejected in order to fix myself...

    Whatever decision you make or don't make if you ultimately keep yourself in mind, you are making the right decision... and Fuck what anyone else says or thinks. The word selfish sounds bad, but it isn't If you are not there for yourself, how can you be there for anyone or anything else? Again, not saying things you don't know, but the mundane redundancy of where we can fall in life sometimes we forget better things can be a change away... There was a point where things got so bad but I never thought things would change since we were together for so long... together 20 years??? She'll never leave! I can do what I want.

    I guess she showed me...Maybe he thinks because he feels victimized that you'll sit there and always take it since you "deserve" it...

    Just my observations, though. Just remember I was so unhappy I went on a bender from hell and she cheated on me, ending up in divorce. My next relationship I'm going to be open no matter how uncomfortable it is.

    But I know one of the quickest routes to self-hatred, or self-doubt is knowing you are being fucked over and knowing it's not right, but not defending yourself in order to keep the peace...Lesbians, partners, co-workers... Like a pressure cooker with no release valve,
    (This post was last modified: 07-24-2019, 06:55 PM by LZA.)
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    #63
    Hey @Stella 1977

    Just checking in. Making sure those lesbians didn;t gang up and kidnap you to their ogre cave Tongue
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    #64
    (03-19-2020, 12:10 PM)LZA Wrote:  Hey @Stella 1977

    Just checking in. Making sure those lesbians didn;t gang up and kidnap you to their ogre cave  Tongue

    It's probably already happened by now. It's been radio silence from the original poster for some time now.

    I'm Serpius and You're Not
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    #65
    I miss the music/mafia discussions.
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