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  • Rant Creepy, short,old,masculine lesbians are drawn to me.Why?
    #21
    @LZA It happened again. Yesterday on my way home from work i stopped at the supermarket. As i was leaving on the parking lot this short tiny 54 year old freckled face thin lips green eyes redhaired old ginger ugly lesbian who is book club member asked if she could touch my boobs AS she and her friend were already grabbing them! I was too tired, also i carried grocery bags with my both hands so I just said it looks like you are already touching them and then walked away. This ginger ugly midget at the book club meetings kept jiggling or squishing my breasts and rubbing and slapping my butt. The first time I was shocked and she joked about it, the times after that I started to get annoyed. The last time she touched my boobs I said quite loudly "STOP TOUCHING MY BOOBS!!" "

    Needless to say she didn't touch my boobs or butt again after that. But yesterday she did it again in the middle of the parking lot. Now I kinda feel like a weirdo for not losing my shit on this ginger midget and her friend.
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    #22
    @Stella 1977

    That's depressing, but not surprising. I think it may be time to take Wildcard's and SJ's advice and be very direct.

    I remember when I was a sup back up, I HATED doing this, but it's best to be swift and leave no room for interpretation. Get it out of the way right away so you don't have to think/worry about it. I'm only telling you this not to talk about myself, but to try and show you we are a lot alike when dealing with people. It's a shame that we take the blame on ourselves but I've learned the hard way that people only do for themselves. You give people chances, most will take advantage every time... As you are seeing...

    Think of it this way: After you yelled at her, she still did it, means she simply doesn't care about your feeling's which should piss you off. People are selfish slobs who only think for their own wants. I don't think she is that clueless that she doesn't get it, although she could be... I wonder if someone trampled on her rights like she is doing yours, will she scream and complain that she is being victimized.

    Next time she sees you, and starts to come up to you, I'd say something like "here she comes, Is she gonna sexually assault me AGAIN"? Make it super clear... Or just say right off the bat "Apparently you didn't get it the first time, but I don't want you touching me". Or add something like "I'm having trouble getting through to you, maybe the police may have some ideas on how to help", although I'd save that one when you 100% confirm she just won't listen, you can "read the room" and decide what's appropriate... If she gets upset or cries, fuck her... She's gotta learn. I can only go off what I think since women are different from men. For some women, they feel that's more acceptable.

    For example, for a while, I lived in what could be described as a ghetto, where there was a gay guy. He looked like Lawrence Taylor with Tits. One day he was walking down the street and he was MESSSSSSED up. Come to find out he was drinking and got fresh with someone, who decided to Tee off on the guy. I know you'll never do anything like that, but really, what is the difference? Men's egos seem to take over... Plus as a guy, I know how guys think. Women I don't think are any different.

    Again (and I don't want to make it about me), but I would draw a line in the sand, let people do what they wanted until they crossed that line, then come down hard and fast, then drop it. Like a band-aid. Even if something didn't really make me angry, I'd pretend I was an actor and play angry for emphasis... Some idiots only know brute force type bat to the head type responses. sounds like she is one of them. Even if you feel bad inside, make it look like you don't care and if she continues, I'd tell her I'll file assault charges... Make her know you are serious. Who cares if she hates you... Even if she does, she'll still want you... Which should disturb you deep down anyway.

    Sorry for the book, but you've given her chances, time to drop the bitch hammer down. Fuck these dykes... Just as an LOL, lesbians are portrayed as beautiful and more accepted than gay guys... But truth be known, more often than not they are wildebeests and water buffalos bean flickin each other... And they want YOU to be a part of it. You don't need to be a part of that nastiness...I guess i'm trying to fire you up enough to get mad and tell these bitches to GFTS's
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    #23
    @LZA Thank you for your support. You really understand the complexity of my situation. About four months ago i joined this book club . The meetings are held once a week at this woman who is a book club president house. This creepy ginger midget lesbian started touching me on my first book club meeting. After my first meeting she came up next to me and squeezed my boobs, than we were standing she started squeezing my butt and would not take her hands off my butt and kept pulling me back when I ran away! She would do things like stroke my back and massage my shoulders or squeeze my breasts. This skinny ginger midget kept jiggling or squishing my breasts and rubbing and slapping my butt. She would just constantly grabbing my breasts and butt. It was very bizarre. The first time I was shocked and she joked about it, the times after that I started to get annoyed. About two months ago she touched my boobs and I said quite loudly "STOP TOUCHING MY BOOBS!!" "

    Needless to say she didn't touch my boobs or butt again after that. But yesterday she did it again in the middle of the parking lot.This ginger midget woman groper is well liked and respected at book cub. Being well-liked there means there's more women book club members on your side. Other 9 book club members are women in their 40s and 50s. Other women there, think that i am stuck up and arrogant upper middle class snob. Only this woman who is book club president is friendly with me. I feel like these women don't really like me.I am considered by most of other women book club members to be very serious, arrogant, and stuck up. One woman group member has described me as a snob on about half a dozen occasions. I still don't really know why. I know on one of those occasions it was because I turned down the offer to go to a coffee with her after the meeting. How not wanting to go somewhere makes me a snob, I don't know. One woman always comments on my clothing saying that i am always overdressed in satin and silk clothes and glammed up. I am dressing like this since i graduated college and got my first office job. It is my whole wardrobe. Its how i like to dress myself and that is my style. I am uncomfortable in social settings and it takes me a while to feel comfortable around other people. I've been asked soooo many times 'Why are you so serious?' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them. When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident. I guess other people take that as me being arrogant. I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc., and also very unwelcoming to new people. Technically the second part is true as new people terrify me, but the first bit is very untrue. And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to. I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up. I hate that I come off like that.

    When I do speak with people, I tend to be overly nice to compensate and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation. People around me (except for the ones who truly know me) have always said that I come across as snobby, stuck on myself, and unfriendly. The truth is, I'm just really shy and insecure when it comes to socializing with people. I do have several close friends, but it bugs me that A LOT of people think I'm a snob when that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been told that I seem snobby and it is because I don't speak up in groups where I am not comfortable. I have had people ask me if I thought I was better than others.
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    #24
    @Stella 1977

    I would stop trying to compensate for what you think is trying to overcome a perceived reputation. JUst be you... I think of it this way.

    You don't want to be an outsider, but you ARE. You are in their realm of orc groping book clubbers and other troll-type behavior. In your first post, you mentioned you moved to a community where they are. Legally you can't say it's their stomping grounds since anyone is free to move where they wish, but you know psychologically you moved into the place they found refuge to ogle and grope who they want. This is their refuge where they feel safe and almost everyone is "out", so they may not think about it when someone else comes into their clique...Add that to the feeling that they may feel that they have been discriminated and never really felt free to do themselves, and their empathy for others kinda goes out the window. If i'm right or wrong about this doesn't matter, they should respect you.

    This lady being in the hierarchy of respectability in this community, she probably feels more entitled (like the Weinstein of bookclub dikes) since she's looked upon as a leader.

    Hate to bring this up, but may be something you already know. You will probably continue to be an outsider and should probably find something out of town with people your own style... Or, you can stand your ground, tell these people off, but probably always find them treating you with animosity because you are not like them. Again, if they were inclusive and empathetic, they would never treat you like this. So retraining may be possible, but difficult. I wonder if you sit at this book club thinking about books, or when the next assault is coming, and that increases stress, it doesn't reduce it.

    Like Sigfried and Roy playing with the tigers... They are 2 different species. NO matter how much you can love them or think they love you, One day, they can turn and maul your face off. Probably overreacting, but you get what I'm trying to say. I don't want to discourage you since you can possibly make it to where it's bearable, but just be ready that you may have to disconnect since it may not happen.
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    #25
    @LZA I am going to stand my ground. Most of these women book club members seem to think I'm a snob. How am I a snob because I don't talk that much? When i am in an environment where I do not know anyone I can come as arrogant and stuck up depending on the setting. It's truly a defensive mechanism though.

    I know that many women have to deal with worse, and I should just "man up", but I am an extremely non-confrontational person, and I usually prefer to endure something uncomfortable than draw attention or displease the other person. I am trying to avoid sounding like a snob but I've been exposed to lots of wonderful things in life. I am considered by most people to be extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. I am one of those women who is not too social but when someone approaches me I will be sweet and open. I tend to wait to see how people are before getting too close, but I am always polite and kind no matter what.But the people who get to know me always think I’m sweet and NEVER arrogant (that is the last thing I am).
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    #26
    (04-13-2019, 06:13 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  @LZA  I am going to stand my ground.

    Good for you! You know you are the only one that will stand up for you... And you have to see yourself more than you see them, so best to make yourself happy

    (04-13-2019, 06:13 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  Most of these women book club members seem to think I'm a snob. How am I a snob because I don't talk that much? When i am in an environment where I do not know anyone I can come as arrogant and stuck up depending on the setting. It's truly a defensive mechanism though.

    Let's face it, they may think that since you won't let them maul you... But who gives a fuck what they think... I've heard that if you were split into 3 people: Who you think you are, who others think you are, and how you really are, and you met you wouldn't recognize each other... You should put your feelings over theirs and take care of yourself, obviously they are doing the same.

    (04-13-2019, 06:13 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  I know that many women have to deal with worse, and I should just "man up", but I am an extremely non-confrontational person, and I usually prefer to endure something uncomfortable than draw attention or displease the other person.  I am trying to avoid sounding like a snob but I've been exposed to lots of wonderful things in life.

    That's good to realize, but you should never forsake your own stuff because someone has it worse. That downplays your own importance. Certainly, be humble and thankful for things since they are not worse, but you can only deal with stuff that you experience. I feel bad for people too, but if I don't ultimately take care of myself, I'll be the recipient of others pity. Pity doesn't really make the pain go away... That why I say do for your self and fuck everyone else. That goes for family, friends, neighbors, dikes in the community, everyone that doesn't help you is hurting you... Some of my blood relatives piss me off the most.
    (This post was last modified: 04-13-2019, 06:48 PM by LZA.)
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    #27
    @LZA Please don't judge me.PLEASE. I'm so disappointed with myself. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me. I'm forever being groped by short older lesbian women when i go out. Two hour ago on my way home from work i stopped at a drugstore. As i was leaving on a parking lot this weird really short skinny masculine pale old ugly woman, who is my friend's cousin, walked up to me and grabbed my boobs with her both hands and then ran her hands all the way down my body…and then a few minutes later she did it again. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop because it just happened so fast, and I didn’t know what to say anyways. She said that she admires me, that i am so glamorous, elegant, fashionable and classy and that she is is just showing appreciation for my curves, height and clothes. While i was walking to my car she was walking behind me with her hands on my ass making small talk.She was resting her hands on my butt.She had her arm around me from behind and was just cupping one of my boobs. I tried to walk fast but i was on a 5inch high heels.I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. And this is her second time groping me. She felt up my breasts on bday party for my friends daughter about eight months ago ( I have mentioned this in my original post).

    Also this short tiny 54 year old freckled face thin lips green eyes redhaired old ginger ugly lesbian keeps jiggling and feeling up my breasts and slapping or rubbing my butt in in a joking playful way on a book club meetings. She routinely slaps or rubs my butt. She often hugs me from behind placing her hands on my breasts.Also she always hugs me in full frontal hug pressing her face on my breasts. She acts like its all a big joke, laugh, etc. I make it clear i don't like it, but she acts like that's part of the joke, too. I hate that i have grown accustomed to it.

    What is wrong with me? I am so passive and weak. I am physically stronger than these women. I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy. I am always on high heels. Standing next to me these women look like midgets. They are masculine and creepy, but they are just a tiny, short,skinny older women. I just don't know how to fight off these short older women gropers, or even why. I feel like I am a doormat to these lesbian gropers. I feel like its all my fault that i am the issue. For the past 16 months or so, since we moved here in Lesbianville, I feel like my entire personality has changed. I just feel like a push over. I also feel weaker (in a way) because I feel tolerant of these lesbian women gropers who walk all over me. I feel like a disappointment to YOU@LZA . I'm a constant disappointment. At least i dealt with my touchy feely neighbor.
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    #28
    @Stella 1977 Judge you? With the way I've lived my life and the choices, I've made, even if I actually wanted to judge you I couldn't in this case since it would make no sense and be hypocritical.

    In fact, I get you since we are a lot alike. I think I've mentioned before, self-advocation was a struggle for me (truthfully it still can be). I'm relating to you correctly, you or you wish people would behave, thinking that respectful adults don't, won't, shouldn't act this way. One thing I've learned especially in a workforce situation where people report to you...If you don't set guidelines and enforce people will walk over, take advantage then throw you under the bus if confronted with consequences.

    It must be tough because the standards as currently set dictate that if it was a man doing that to you, he'd be brought up on charges, or at least slapped. Some of these women have bigger balls than men and don't think/don't care about anyone's feelings but their own... And it's not like you are at a lesbian bar where there may be confused about why you are there... Maybe, since you say it's lesbianville, that again, they assume everyone there is on the same page. Doesn't make it right. I bet if you were with them and a man did that to you and you reacted the same, they'd get all up in arms.

    Sounds like you are outnumbered... Advocating worked for your neighbor it'll work for the others. If it doesn't, then you should cut ties with them because they obviously don't care about your feelings. Think of it this way: You are afraid to tell them to stop since you are afraid to hurt their feelings, but check how you are feeling right now by feeling you didn't do all you could. You would rather drive yourself nuts to protect the feeling of horned up women looking for a free feel???

    Don't take it as a loss... The only loss is if you give up without a resolution. This is a learning experience and all we have in our control is right NOW. So ya, you missed a chance, but think of how it's making you feel right now and plan to find a way to resolve it by protecting yourself... By that I mean think of what to say to them, even coming to a conclusion that you may have to break ties and get mean but just know that it's not you... It's them forcing you into it... Or, come to the conclusion that it won't stop and somehow make peace with yourself... As long as you have peace... Going on like this will only stress you out more and make you feel less than since you think they can walk on you and you have no say... But remember... That's not the case. You are not saying much/balking not because you aren't worth it, I bet you just want to be left alone and don't want to deal with BS. At least I hope that realization makes you feel better about not wanting to do anything... In the master manipulation of MY mind... I'd try to rationalize not doing something for my own good... If I can agree and find peace, I ran with it... If not (and this seems like its the case for you), you'll have to come to the determination that something has to be done to stop your aggravation of it.

    See, knowing this conceptually and through the experience of actually sticking up for myself with great results, you would think it's now easy for me to always do it... NOt so, I always balk and even though I know what the right thing is, I necessarily don't do it out of fear it won't work although having proof that it does. I think I've said this before about we being the ones to teach others how to treat us, so you need to set limits... And I know you know this, but I agree it's fucking frustrating as hell.

    I also like to make excuses that may or may not be true... So you can blame your husband saying how you mentioned to him that someone was touchy-feely, or even say he say someone else touches you and he went off... I don't know... I'm good at bending the truth to make excuses but honestly, if I were you my advice would be to find a way, to tell the truth... It'll end and you'll feel better about not having to make up stories. Think about it on the bright side: as awkward of a conversation this is, once you handle it (just a matter of time), it'll be easy to handle anything.

    Give yourself a break, some more time, but remember why it bothers you and why it needs to stop.
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    #29
    @LZA You totally understand the complexity of my situation. I admit that i don't want to be accused of being homophobic in this community. And these predatory women gropers are physically completely harmless. They are not not tough and strong. They don't look intimidating. They are creepy and masculine but they are just short, skinny, tiny older women. I am physically stronger than these women. You are right. Most of these women book club members think that I should be okay with groping by this ginger woman. One woman book club members often says that I make stupid faces while this woman groper is groping me and rubbing me. She also says that it is hilarious and bizarre that standing next to this ginger groper I look like a giant and I let her get by with it. This woman who is a book club president says that that groping between women isn't a big deal at all. I agree with you that if i were with them and a man did that to me and i reacted the same, they'd get all up in arms.

    You are right. I am totally outnumbered. These women are everywhere. Since we moved here in "Lesbianville" every time I go out without my husband I always have problems with women touching me, rubbing my back, bumping into me , touching my breasts, grabbing my butt, or bumping into my breasts. Short , old, creepy, masculine lesbian women gravitate toward me like fruit flies on a banana. My breasts have been grabbed numerous times in jest by short masculine older lesbian women. For some reason i cannot, do not, fight these women off as i would some male who groped me. It is almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing their hands to crawl over me. I have grown accustomed to it. I just laugh uncomfortably or i just stand there revolted, but silent and motionless . Maybe it is just sheer embarrassment? I don't get lesbian pleasure out of this. (I am strictly heterosexual - i am not a closet lesbian.) The issue i need to address is not these women gropers but my passive reaction. I admit to you that being passive and powerless liberates me from the stress of proper behaviour. I abandon all that stressful responsibility for my own actions. Why?

    I just feel like such a failure. I just need to get my thoughts written down I think. I don’t want to feel like this forever, but I just feel hopeless.
    I'm always able to help out other people, yet I can't even help myself.
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    #30
    (06-01-2019, 02:28 AM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  I admit to you that being passive and powerless liberates me from the stress of proper behaviour. I abandon all that stressful responsibility for my own actions. Why?

    Exactly what I was trying to get at. I manipulate myself that as long as I know I'm cheesing out, I can't be too hard on myself because I know I'm not putting the proper effort into correcting a problem. And also, I think it can be accepted as a temporary fix if you get too sick of dealing with it all at once for a time.


    (06-01-2019, 02:28 AM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  I just feel like such a failure. I just need to get my thoughts written down I think. I don’t want to feel like this forever, but I just feel hopeless.
    I'm always able to help out other people, yet I can't even help myself.
    That's normal. And from what I read I think you know what to do, it's just going about how to do it... I know you want to keep the peace but ultimately, the only peace you should be looking after is your own...As much as your neighbor could have been triggered, she got over it and it didn't affect you. Put it on them and let them feel the effect of their own actions... Don't punish yourself because they cant act.

    Also, maybe buy an electric bra and underwear so their stubby mitts get fried when they go and touch you, lol
    (This post was last modified: 06-01-2019, 01:03 PM by LZA.)
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