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  • Rant: Creepy, short,old,masculine lesbians are drawn to me.Why?
    #11
    (04-02-2019, 02:48 AM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  Problem is, after her crying and sobbing afterwards, I cant help but feel a little bit guilty. 
    So was I in the wrong? If so, how should I have handled the situation?

    You did nothing wrong. In fact, i'm proud you stuck up for yourself. You can't control the actions or re-actions of others... You described how sensitive you can be (IRL, I can relate), so I can't say you feeling bad was wrong, since I probably would have done something similar. Again, don't apologize for yourself. The good news is, the hard part is over. She knows now not to grope you. If she does it again, say the same thing and be a little more stern about it. Put it on her like why would she do that after you explained.... If she likes satin, she can buy some herself...Why people have to barf up their problems and expect everyone else to have to deal with it is beyond me...

    If she cries again, let her, this time show no emotions as hard as it may be. She's gotta learn. And do the same thing to anyone else... The "personal space" explanation is a great way to explain. But as you see, others here think you don't need to be as nice as you have been. Point is, you took care of yourself and you'll be better for it. It's her move (or non-move, really) to see if she respects you as a person or if she's just horned up wanting to cop feels because her significant other looks like Jabba the Huttress..

    I can't say it any other way, so I'm just gonna say it... If i'm not correct then that's OK. I don't wanna sound biased but I'm probably going to come off that way... BUT

    People like her may have mental issues. Not all LGBTQ people have mental issues, but a good % of them do. I've read reports (and there may be reports to the contrary) showing they can be very unhappy people. I knew a lesbian who was one because the men she found were assholes. She finally found a good one and is happily married now. Hey, if you are born that way, fine. but the way you describe her (and others ) may be indicative of some underlying problems. I suffer from depression, and I've taken advantage of others feelings for attention or to get my way in the past. This is what I'm drawing on when I say this. I think back and am ashamed, but either intentional or unintentional, it's not OK because you don;t think it is...Hope I'm making sense.

    The fact she doesn't realize that personal space is a thing shows a problem here... Especially if she knows you are straight and married and you know she is gay. One of my gay friends didn't want to hug me since he was afraid he'd skeeve me out. Of course I hugged him, and now a days I'll take what I can get, LOL. But the point is people who don't know boundaries are either selfish or not well adjusted. Either way, nothing for you to feel bad about. She should KNOW you may feel uncomfortable. I can tell you I suffer from depression, so I can see how it's easier to play victim to try to get away with crap... Could this be the case? Otherwise she just doesn't care.. But let's see what happens from now on. And try to do that with others.

    (04-02-2019, 10:45 AM)srijantje Wrote:  try kicking her in her cunt next time,if that doesn't help yell you're molested
    LOL! How pissed would you be if you actually did that and found "she" was actually a "he" with a PENIS dressing up to cop feels pretending to be a well meaning touchy feely. The thing that bothers me the most is that LGBTQ who claim to be victims, make others victims by doing things since others won't question them for fear of being labeled anti-gay or whatever...
    (This post was last modified: 04-02-2019, 03:11 PM by LZA.)
    Reply
    #12
    (04-02-2019, 02:48 AM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  So I finally did what it took to drive her annoying ass away from me.

    I kinda picked out a harsh sentence in a long post, but don't worry, I'm not trying to capitalize on it. It just speaks to me of a reality that I have come to face in the last few years.

    Basically, I have learned that no one is going to work toward you being happy if you don't. When you caused that awkward situation for her you likely ended a recurring awkward and uncomfortable situation for yourself. Here's hoping, anyway.

    So, props to you for sticking up for yourself— and for realizing that being grown means having to make the tough calls occasionally. Yay
    Reply
    #13
    @Wildcard says what I try to say. He just uses less words!

    I've heard somewhere that if you have to deal with resentments, think of them as Christmas presents: It's better to GIVE than RECEIVE.
    (This post was last modified: 04-02-2019, 04:03 PM by LZA.)
    Reply
    #14
    (04-02-2019, 03:06 PM)LZA Wrote:  
    (04-02-2019, 02:48 AM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  Problem is, after her crying and sobbing afterwards, I cant help but feel a little bit guilty. 
    So was I in the wrong? If so, how should I have handled the situation?

    You did nothing wrong. In fact, i'm proud you stuck up for yourself. You can't control the actions or re-actions of others... You described how sensitive you can be (IRL, I can relate), so I can't say you feeling bad was wrong, since I probably would have done something similar. Again, don't apologize for yourself. The good news is, the hard part is over. She knows now not to grope you. If she does it again, say the same thing and be a little more stern about it. Put it on her like why would she do that after you explained.... If she likes satin, she can buy some herself...Why people have to barf up their problems and expect everyone else to have to deal with it is beyond me...

    If she cries again, let her, this time show no emotions as hard as it may be. She's gotta learn. And do the same thing to anyone else... The "personal space" explanation is a great way to explain. But as you see, others here think you don't need to be as nice as you have been. Point is, you took care of yourself and you'll be better for it. It's her move (or non-move, really) to see if she respects you as a person or if she's just horned up wanting to cop feels because her significant other looks like Jabba the Huttress..

    I can't say it any other way, so I'm just gonna say it... If i'm not correct then that's OK. I don't wanna sound biased but I'm probably going to come off that way... BUT

    People like her may have mental issues. Not all LGBTQ people have mental issues, but a good % of them do. I've read reports (and there may be reports to the contrary) showing they can be very unhappy people. I knew a lesbian who was one because the men she found were assholes. She finally found a good one and is happily married now. Hey, if you are born that way, fine. but the way you describe her (and others ) may be indicative of some underlying problems. I suffer from depression, and I've taken advantage of others feelings for attention or to get my way in the past. This is what I'm drawing on when I say this. I think back and am ashamed, but either intentional or unintentional, it's not OK because you don;t think it is...Hope I'm making sense.

    The fact she doesn't realize that personal space is a thing shows a problem here... Especially if she knows you are straight and married and you know she is gay. One of my gay friends didn't want to hug me since he was afraid he'd skeeve me out. Of course I hugged him, and now a days I'll take what I can get, LOL. But the point is people who don't know boundaries are either selfish or not well adjusted. Either way, nothing for you to feel bad about. She should KNOW you may feel uncomfortable. I can tell you I suffer from depression, so I can see how it's easier to play victim to try to get away with crap... Could this be the case? Otherwise she just doesn't care.. But let's see what happens from now on. And try to do that with others.

    (04-02-2019, 10:45 AM)srijantje Wrote:  try kicking her in her cunt next time,if that doesn't help yell you're molested
    LOL! How pissed would you be if you actually did that and found "she" was actually a "he" with a PENIS dressing up to cop feels pretending to be a well meaning touchy feely.  The thing that bothers me the most is that LGBTQ who claim to be victims, make others victims by doing things since others won't question them for fear of being labeled anti-gay or whatever...

    Thank you for your support. But why do i feel so guilty about this situation with this woman touchy feely neighbor? I am struggling with guilt. I can't help it. I feel like it is one of the worst things i have done.
    Reply
    #15
    (04-02-2019, 04:46 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  Thank you for your support. But why do i feel so guilty about this situation with this woman touchy feely neighbor? I am struggling with guilt. I can't help it. I feel like it is one of the worst things i have done.

    Takes practice. Trust me in a few days you'll feel better that it's stopped, and that you advocated for yourself. It's hard to see people with their feelings hurt, and harder to know you are the one that hurt the feelings, which is maybe why you feel crappy.

    But think of it this way, she's not in control of her feelings enough to be an adult about things... Who cries when someone asks them to respect boundaries besides someone who can't control their own feelings. Since that is the case, you did nothing to her; she'll have to find a way to get over it herself.

    Please don't let it overcome you to where you apologize to her. That's her issue, not yours.
    Reply
    #16
    @Stella 1977  Just curious: Any more issues after that happened?
    (This post was last modified: 04-03-2019, 04:23 PM by LZA.)
    Reply
    #17
    (04-03-2019, 04:22 PM)LZA Wrote:  @Stella 1977  Just curious: Any more issues after that happened?

    An hour ago i arrived home from work. This woman my touchy feely neighbor was staring out of the window not saying a word. Watching me lock my car, carrying the groceries etc. Doesn't even hide it. It was a bit creepy.
    Reply
    #18
    (04-03-2019, 05:19 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  An hour ago i arrived home from work. This woman my touchy feely neighbor was staring out of the window not saying a word. Watching me lock my car, carrying the groceries etc. Doesn't even hide it. It was a bit creepy.


    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH

    See! She's learning!

    And she's acting creepy. If she can't handle it, that's on her. The weidness will go away in time.

    What's creepy is now I think she was out in the yard all those times waiting for her daily feel. If she was really only innocently touchy feely, she'd still be out in the yard doing her thing. You took away her afternoon thrill... Oh well for her, though
    (This post was last modified: 04-03-2019, 05:25 PM by LZA.)
    Reply
    #19
    (04-03-2019, 05:22 PM)LZA Wrote:  
    (04-03-2019, 05:19 PM)Stella 1977 Wrote:  An hour ago i arrived home from work. This woman my touchy feely neighbor was staring out of the window not saying a word. Watching me lock my car, carrying the groceries etc. Doesn't even hide it. It was a bit creepy.


    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH

    See! She's learning!

    And she's acting creepy. If she can't handle it, that's on her. The weidness will go away in time.

    What's creepy is now I think she was out in the yard all those times waiting for her daily feel. If she was really only innocently touchy feely, she'd still be out in the yard doing her thing. You took away her afternoon thrill... Oh well for her, though

    But why do i feel so guilty?
    Reply
    #20
    @Stella 1977  Well, you shouldn't. You took care of yourself.

    I found this... Pay attention to number 8

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201703/8-empowering-ways-stop-feeling-guilty

    The rest may not even apply, but I thought you may be interested... Maybe you feel guilty getting so pissed having to advocate for yourself and being put in that situation? I'm sure you'd rather not have had to deal.

    I'm just guessing, by no means am I trying to diagnose; just present possible ideas...
    Reply





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