Are Couples With No Children Obligated To Attend Parties For Kids?

[wildcard]

The question stems from my feeling bad about not going to these events when invited. Some of the couples that we know who have children are very dear friends, but I still don't want to go to their children's birthday parties because I feel out of place.

Having no children of my own, I don't have anything to do at those events other than eat cake and slip off to smoke. Sure, I can get high before I go but then I am the weird guy playing in the bouncy tent with the kids.

And the other issue, though less important, is that there is an unspoken gift protocol for those events: I buy your kid a gift and you buy my kid a gift, I attend your kid's parties and you attend mine, et cetera.

I don't have any kids so I am buying these gifts while you lay back and pump your wife full of kids, reaping all the rewards?

[bob5695]

don't let the socially accepted protocol keep you from doing what's right.

[Spud17]

Hell no, don't go.

It depends on the relationship you have with your friends, and the types of parties on offer for the childless.

A friend of mine and his missus, who I've known for about 20 years, always invite me to their kid's parties (now 16, and 19, so they host their own now). I've watched the kids grow up and love them all to bits, but the reason I went to the parties is because my friends had the foresight to stage separate parties for the adults who didn't want to stand around listening to a bunch of other people's kids scream their little heads off.

Beer, weed, the usual, was always on offer next to a huge spread of food. One room was filled with happy children, balloons and mess, the other was filled with dirty, heavy rock music - the air thick with smoke and obscenities.

I have other friends though who don't cater for those without kids, and I refuse to go. I'm not going to pretend to anyone that I'm happy and comfortable in an environment filled with noisy, unpredictable, and usually smelly children, but my friends know me well enough not to be offended in any way when I don't attend their little tyke's do's.

As for the gift protocol, again it depends on your relationship with your friends. If I've known them a long time, I might drop a gift off, but I don't feel any obligation to do so.

[LZA]

Ya I agree with Spudy with the action of buying a gift card (put like $20-30 on it) and giving it to your friend, but not going to the party. Give it to your friend as a by the way kind of thing...Ya know?

(This post was last modified: 03-14-2015, 09:40 PM by LZA.)

[srijantje]

i agree with you there,if there's a side room with sex drugs and rock and roll ,and there usually is,I'll go,with gift

[radiobox]

para1: Agree. Terribly noisy places. The cake doesn't quite make up for it.

para2: You are lucky. The kids totally ignored me at the last party some 4 years back. When the kid's mom announced "Honey, look who's here", the kid was searching the room for one of her friends and totally ignored me. I decided no more birthday parties, unless the menu was exceptionally good ( and a few other conditions).

para3: Agree. Reminds me of Sheldon's Christmas Gift exchanges. I usually gift them in cash with a greeting card or some appropriate small book.

para4: Am up for adoption if anybody is looking (insert cute pic of me here.)