08-13-2015, 01:39 AM
So I am in a predicament and I want to just know if I'm doing the right thing.
My girlfriend of about 8 months is such a sweet person. She's kind, incredibly intelligent, and we share an interest in video games (I'm a PC gamer and she loves Nintendo, so we aren't totally in sync with it, but we both appreciate the other's passion for them). I knew her for about a year before we started dating, and we learned to be good friends. And here in-lies the problem.
While it is wonderful to be friendly with your significant other, over 8 months, we have made almost no progress as an actual couple. We have had maybe three dates total in our entire time being together (though the past 5 months or so we have not had any time alone together at all), and while these few dates have been mellow and pleasant and we do frequently see each other, she has this very conservative way of acting. She isn't fond of showing affection in public, and it's been getting to me how she is so shy of it. We don't act like a couple in public, and we almost never get to be in private were we CAN actually act like a couple. On top of all this, she isn't one to text or carry out any sort of long conversation unless it's in person. She says it's not me because she was this way with her first boyfriend too and he broke it off with her because of it (I'm her second boyfriend).
She attributes this to her being very shy and kinda antisocial, and our absence of time together recently is blamed on the fact that throughout the past few months, she has been hopping around vacationing with her family and has been intensely busy. I can't blame her for being shy, its just how she is and there is no reason to get mad at it. But it has been getting to me how over the past 3 months, not one day was free for her to take me up on the date I have been asking her multiple times for. A lot of my family is saying that "If she wanted to be with you, she would make the time." While that is partly true, they don't understand that she has no real control over what she has to do everyday. On the other hand, there have to have been at least a few free days where she could have called me up and gone out with me, but she just didn't.
She texted me out of the blue a few days ago, saying sorry about how busy she has been, and I took the opportunity to tell her that we will need to talk about our whole relationship next time we go on a date. The talk will happen after the date so we can see if we still connect. Then from there we will decide together if we want to continue the relationship, as it is not my decision to make alone because it involves both of us. Aside from the nerves of just the whole conversation possibly leading to us breaking up, I'm just really getting skeptical of if it's going to work out the more i think about it. I believe I'm doing the right thing here, but I have to wait for her to find out if and when we can go on another date to discuss all this. The waiting is killing me.
I'm sorry for the freakin essay there. Any advice about what to do/if I am doing the right thing would be very appreciated.[/font]
My girlfriend of about 8 months is such a sweet person. She's kind, incredibly intelligent, and we share an interest in video games (I'm a PC gamer and she loves Nintendo, so we aren't totally in sync with it, but we both appreciate the other's passion for them). I knew her for about a year before we started dating, and we learned to be good friends. And here in-lies the problem.
While it is wonderful to be friendly with your significant other, over 8 months, we have made almost no progress as an actual couple. We have had maybe three dates total in our entire time being together (though the past 5 months or so we have not had any time alone together at all), and while these few dates have been mellow and pleasant and we do frequently see each other, she has this very conservative way of acting. She isn't fond of showing affection in public, and it's been getting to me how she is so shy of it. We don't act like a couple in public, and we almost never get to be in private were we CAN actually act like a couple. On top of all this, she isn't one to text or carry out any sort of long conversation unless it's in person. She says it's not me because she was this way with her first boyfriend too and he broke it off with her because of it (I'm her second boyfriend).
She attributes this to her being very shy and kinda antisocial, and our absence of time together recently is blamed on the fact that throughout the past few months, she has been hopping around vacationing with her family and has been intensely busy. I can't blame her for being shy, its just how she is and there is no reason to get mad at it. But it has been getting to me how over the past 3 months, not one day was free for her to take me up on the date I have been asking her multiple times for. A lot of my family is saying that "If she wanted to be with you, she would make the time." While that is partly true, they don't understand that she has no real control over what she has to do everyday. On the other hand, there have to have been at least a few free days where she could have called me up and gone out with me, but she just didn't.
She texted me out of the blue a few days ago, saying sorry about how busy she has been, and I took the opportunity to tell her that we will need to talk about our whole relationship next time we go on a date. The talk will happen after the date so we can see if we still connect. Then from there we will decide together if we want to continue the relationship, as it is not my decision to make alone because it involves both of us. Aside from the nerves of just the whole conversation possibly leading to us breaking up, I'm just really getting skeptical of if it's going to work out the more i think about it. I believe I'm doing the right thing here, but I have to wait for her to find out if and when we can go on another date to discuss all this. The waiting is killing me.
I'm sorry for the freakin essay there. Any advice about what to do/if I am doing the right thing would be very appreciated.[/font]
