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the chocolate jihad
#1
Some Australian News Source Wrote:Muslims in Malaysia call for jihad against cadbury and mondelez after pig DNA found.

ANGRY Muslims in Malaysia demand a Jihad, or holy war, be declared on confectionary company Cadbury and their parent company after traces of pig DNA were found.

In response Cadbury Malaysia is pulling Cadbury Dairy Milk hazelnut and Cadbury Dairy Milk roast almond from shelves in the Islamic country, Reuters reports.
A group of more than 20 Muslim organisations condemned the UK-based company, owned by Mondelēz International, saying "it has crossed the line."

“They have betrayed us Muslims by putting ‘haram’ elements through the foods we consume in our body, to weaken us Muslims,” said Abu Bakar Yahya, chief of Muslim group, Perkasa Selangor, at a press conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaymailonline reports.

Some Muslim organisations even called for a Jihad to be declared against Cadbury for its “betrayal.”

The Malaysian Islamic Development Department was urged to take legal action against Cadbury.

The Malaysian Health Ministry confirmed that traces of porcine DNA had been picked up in a routine check for non-halal substances in Cadbury products. According to Islamic law, Muslims cannot consume pork or any products derived from it.

“Ensuring that all our products made here in Malaysia are halal is something we take very seriously,” Cadbury Malaysia said in a Facebook posting.

Malaysian Health Minister Subramaniam Sathasivam told press that Cadbury was now cooperating with the Ministry and sharing samples to ascertain where the porcine DNA came from.

“We want to know how the product became contaminated with pig DNA. The health ministry will also do additional tests,” said Subramaniam.

Cadbury Malaysia sales are a small fraction of the around 15 per cent of the company’s revenues that come from the Asia-Pacific region, but concerns over halal standards could jeopardise sales in bigger Muslim markets, such as Indonesia and the Middle East.

source: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/mu...6937587942

i have an opinion regarding this incident and despite the high possibility of having a jihad declared against me, it is as follows:

LMFAO!


...


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

first of all, it is highly improbable that a pig just happened to wander into a chocolate factory and was inadvertently sucked into the machinery by accident... so unless they are taking my suggestion of mixing whole strips of bacon into chocolate bars... the people who were doing the dna testing fucked up.

what are the odds, anyway? i'm not sure how cadbury factories operate, but i'm assuming that their factory operates 24/7 and produces several thousands of gallons of chocolate every hour, everything is screened and filtered... just what are the odds of finding any dna in one bar of chocolate? whatever the odds may be, i should imagine them to be quite low. even if someone at that factory threw an entire pig into the mix (whole or in pieces) that went unnoticed, what are the freaking odds that that one particular piece of chocolate was subsequently tested and came back as positive for pork?

the news sources aren't saying that the chocolate was full of pig chunks, just that dna was detected.... so maybe some form of liquified pig was used instead of a solid chunk... that would make more sense, but even so; how much liquid pork can you carry around without attracting any attention, dump into a vat of chocolate at a chocolate factory without attracting any attention, and ensure that the small amount of liquid pork you spiked the chocolate with would even show up in a dna test after being mixed with several thousand gallons or more of chocolate?

but... who cares. i know, right?

you can't make this shit up.

the real story is that once again... some crazy, dangerous and fanatical muslim groups are calling for a jihad... against a company that produces chocolate.

meh. my money would be on cadbury anyway; international corporations that can have privates armies making landfall within 72 hours are not the kind of international corporations you wanna fuck with.

more than likely: these crazy, dangerous and fanatical muslim groups are just a bunch of drama queens.

"oh! look how the western chocolate bar candy guys have wronged us! oh! we are the victims of a conspiracy to destroy allah! oooooh! we must attack and destroy the evil candy people!"

ha! see, i know how these fuckers think! they just can't admit that pork dna in any form tastes delicious.
"Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
Reply
#2
they put haram elements in our food to weaken us muslims LMAOLMAOLMAOThe Finger
consistency is the hobdob
of small minds[
Reply
#3
(05-30-2014, 09:32 PM)srijantje Wrote: they put haram elements in our food to weaken us muslims LMAOLMAOLMAOThe Finger

ikr.

one aspect of this story just hit me... why do confectioners have to take special precautions to ensure that no pork goes into the candy? i mean, it's just kind of weird.

pork - although i highly desire it's inclusion - is not used in the production of chocolate while bugs can easily get sucked up into the machinery. why do they have a special production process set up just for muslims?
"Yeah. I understand the mechanics of it, shithead. I just don't understand how this is any less retarded than what I'm suggesting." - Kiley; Housebound.
Reply
#4
to sell more chocolate?after all there's an awful lot of them
consistency is the hobdob
of small minds[
Reply
#5
This does not surprise me.
Many people have an anti-chocolate bias.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Reply
#6
“We want to know how the product became contaminated with pig DNA. "
I'd like to know that too.

It is 1857 once again !
[Image: G03b.gif] - veteran of the Battle of Gergovia.

All said, it would be safer to respect people's religious sentiment. Hope for the sake of chocolate lovers in Malaysia, Cadburys handles it diplomatically. I think now other countries will start testing too !
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long -- Ogden Nash
Reply
#7
what do you mean by safer?
consistency is the hobdob
of small minds[
Reply
#8
(05-30-2014, 11:35 PM)srijantje Wrote: what do you mean by safer?
I mean people have their beliefs (good or bad, right or wrong).
Generally these sort of events tend to be taken the wrong way by the "affected parties". Better (/safer) to pat out the flame before it becomes an unnecessary wildfire. Something like that :-)
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long -- Ogden Nash
Reply
#9
(05-30-2014, 11:42 PM)LZA Wrote: Nice, a little tit for tat for them giving us turbanp0x!

Do you even know where Malaysia is?

Here's a hint:
Other side of the fucking planet.
Reply
#10
Those turban wearing muslims with the p0x must have hopped a plane to spread it out to the rest of us.
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