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    My bf is pissing me off
    #1
    So, last night I already felt awful about my body, because that’s just how it is sometimes, so I bring up the only girl that I think is a threat to our relationship. I go “____ is prettier than me anyways everyone has always said so” (I guess trying to get validated idk I’m an idiot I don’t understand my own psychology) and he goes “she’s prettier but you’re more beautiful” so I’m like *record scratches* so you’re probably wondering how I got here and just thinking to myself like damn am I about to herb dissed by my boyfriend or sumn cause that’s is NOT a normal response. I respond, “idk what that’s means” and he says “prettier is more childish but beautiful is More mature even counting your personality” so I’m thinking aight but we aren’t really talking about my personaly tho so what is the tea?? So I reworded myself and I said “she’s physically more attractive than me” and he says “I don’t think so” so I go “that’s cause you consider personality” and he changed the subject. That’s the story of how I lost my self confidence, thanks for coming to my TED talk 
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    #2
    Not to be insensitive, but your first mistake was depending on someone else to validate your self-worth. I obviously don't know you, but you are worth more than your outward appearance or crazy, Stepehen-King-Meets-Cormac-McCarthy writing style.

    It only matters if you believe in yourself.
    Reply
    #3
    (09-29-2018, 07:18 AM)Wildcard Wrote:  Not to be insensitive, but your first mistake was depending on someone else to validate your self-worth. I obviously don't know you, but you are worth more than your outward appearance or crazy, Stepehen-King-Meets-Cormac-McCarthy writing style.

    It only matters if you believe in yourself.

    This is QFT. But take it from someone who deals with insecurity issues, this type of wisdom comes in time, and getting fed up with having other people dictate who you are as a person.

    But I get it, you are unsure, and you need validation. But there is no one out there who can properly assess you. If they say you look good and you don't believe it, their opinion is irrelevant. If they say you look bad, and you are unsure, that just causes animosity, and you still don't have an answer that's satisfying to you So relying on yourself is easier said than done.

    You guys must be younger (teens-20's). NO WAY would I EVER tell my Girlfriend/wife a real critique. You put him in a bad spot. Either he lies to you or he hurts you with the truth. if the truth is what you want to hear, you'll think he's telling you what you want to hear.

    Him answering you like that IMHO was a rookie mistake...
    Reply
    #4
    (09-30-2018, 07:33 AM)LZA Wrote:  Him answering you like that IMHO was a rookie mistake...

    That's true, but asking a question like that is setting yourself up for failure.

    That's like a guy asking if her last bf had a bigger dick. It is just something that you don't ask— even if you were curious/self-conscious of. One answer will crush you, the other will make you suspicious that your partner isn't being truthful.

    You just don't ask.
    Reply
    #5
    (09-30-2018, 09:02 AM)Wildcard Wrote:  
    (09-30-2018, 07:33 AM)LZA Wrote:  Him answering you like that IMHO was a rookie mistake...

    That's true, but asking a question like that is setting yourself up for failure.

    That's like a guy asking if her last bf had a bigger dick. It is just something that you don't ask— even if you were curious/self-conscious of. One answer will crush you, the other will make you suspicious that your partner isn't being truthful.

    You just don't ask.

    A question I learned the hard way... She was unfortunately truthful...

    There's an old saying that sums up what you said nicely: If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question
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    #6
    Just believe in your-self, and go ahead.
    Reply
    #7
    I could see something like this going down in my relationship, but I wouldn't have said 'she's prettier'. Rookie mistake. It sounds like he wasn't paying attention to the conversation a little (as we do so often).. was he playing a video game or something?

    I agree with the above posts though, love yourself <3
    Reply
    #8
    You should have told him "Your penis is smaller but more beautiful."


    Then drop the mic and walk away.
    (This post was last modified: 10-24-2018, 05:49 PM by politux.)
    Reply



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