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I don't want to be myself
#1
I went through 90% of my life wanting to be someone else.
I have no social skills, I shiver when I talk in public, and I constantly am jealous when I see people be brave, smart, and charismatic in public and here I am just like "Uhh... Hi."

People can be themselves comfortably, but I...
When I try to crack a joke, they cannot understand. I understand their jokes, but people joking that my sense of humor is too "unreachable' has become a meme around here in itself. It says a lot when I watch a show about an immortal little girl being trapped in what is practically a silent prison for an eternity, and I want to become said girl. Anything but this life.

I was told that I am smart, good at this and that subject, but I cannot find it in myself to believe that I am the nice things they described. Is there any way to actually accept myself?
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#2
There is a way to accept yourself, and it starts with loving yourself... just look for one good thing you like about yourself... it can be anything at all. It could even be something like “I think I’m good at breathing with my nose.” Fine one little thing you like about yourself and work with that for a while. Then look for another thing that you like, and another, and another, until you eventually love yourself for all the good and the bad. For example: “I like...that I smell good today....even though I don’t smell good every day... but you know, I like that about me, so it doesn’t matter.”
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#3
Here's your answer...

Fucking grow a pair.
If you go through life afraid of judgment or failure then you're going to end up with nothing but regrets, then you'll probably blow your head off and that'll be a fuck of a thing for someone to clean up. I mean, how fucking inconsiderate.
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