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Growing up
01-07-2012, 05:18 PM
Post: #1
Growing up
Don't feel like you have to reply, or even bother to read this thread. If you want to, that's fine, I'd like to hear what you have to say- it might help! But this was mainly just a way for me vent about some things that have happened lately.
Since I've come home for our winter break, I have realized that I'm that person in the family that holds everyone together and is the mediator, so to speak. Or at least I will be, with a little more time. For example, right now my mom, who is past typical child-rearing age, has custody of my 9 year old nephew. She has him beacuse my sister passed away in 2008. I figure that in two or three years, depending on how long it takes me to graduate and get a job, I will take him in and raise him. I am fully confident that I could do it, there is no doubt in my mind. I'm not even resentful that this has fallen to me. I love the kid with all my heart! There's also another issue concerning him that I'm not quite sure how to deal with...
The man who is his father is not involved with him in any way. I don't think he even knows what he looks like. But after he was born, my sister did meet a wonderful man that Lane grew up knowing as "daddy", and that relationship lasted up until a few weeks before her death. As the years have gone by, this person has become less involved with my nephew, due to different circumstances that I'm sure took priority, and I'm not saying that sarcastically. Anyway, my nephew has become confused I guess about what exactly this man is to him, because one night recently he addressed this man first as "daddy", then as "Rodney", then as "Uncle Rodney"! I was blown away, but I know that he's got to either be hurt by the growing distance between him and this man he belives to be his dad, or he's wondering "who is my dad forreal??" I don't know what to do, but I'll figure it out.
Now. My sister's other kid is 13 and living with her other grandparents. I caught just a glimpse of what they've been telling her about the past, and it's very one-sided. I told her that every story has THREE (sometimes more) sides. One person's, another person's, and the truth. I hope she remembers that, and doesn't always believe what she hears from everyone, especially since she doesn't get to hear it from us. I just don't want her to think down on us, but I know in order for that to happen, I'm gonna have to get closer than ever to her.
My oldest brother just moved to Colorado, so he's a million miles away from me! I'll be fine, but I know my mom depended a lot on him, and her heart is broken. No matter how old we are, my mom always worries about us. I just hope he keeps in touch and visits often, because now that my sister is gone he's become my closest sibling.
There's more family drama where that came from. I've only talked about my mom's side! But I won't drag out all our baggage for ya'll to have to read. These are the things that are bothering me most anyway.The other stuff might surface it's way to the top with a little more time. Or, maybe it'll just disappear once I get distracted by school again. OH! SCHOOL!. . .
Furthermore, it's gonna be a stressful semester for me, because I'm taking 17 credit hours...on top of pledging, and hopefully getting a job. AH! Anywho...
This is how I've experienced growing up thus far. I imagine it will only get harder, and I'm up to the challenge. I'm gonna come out on top, wiser, stronger, and more sensational than ever.

"Let the music be your master. Will you heed the master's call?"
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01-07-2012, 05:26 PM
Post: #2
RE: Growing up
Sara,i'm gonna say one thing,you are close to bringing tears to my eyes,that was just fantastic bloody amazing in fact

1 question,do you feel as if you are responable for your nephew and you neice,it's just something i need to know,i can actually get a vibe of you that you are a very very strong person

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01-07-2012, 05:35 PM
Post: #3
RE: Growing up
Yeah, I feel more responsible for my nephew, since I'm the most competent person that could raise him, ya know? I don't feel as responsible for my neice, because her grandparents have done a great job at raising her, and she's only got a little while until she's all grown up herself. Sad

"Let the music be your master. Will you heed the master's call?"
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01-07-2012, 05:41 PM
Post: #4
RE: Growing up
(01-07-2012 05:35 PM)Sara Kate Wrote:  Yeah, I feel more responsible for my nephew, since I'm the most competent person that could raise him, ya know? I don't feel as responsible for my neice, because her grandparents have done a great job at raising her, and she's only got a little while until she's all grown up herself. Sad

I know,but you also have to think of yourself,school and stuff and when that's finished you can grab the situation with both hands,i'm sure you are well capable..

Thank you for a great read and letting your feeling be known on Rant Central +2 DONE

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01-07-2012, 06:49 PM
Post: #5
RE: Growing up
I agree with KP. This is definitely a very strong post . . . so strong that it's hard to comment at all for me. I have no idea what I would do in your position, but I trust that you will handle it well. You're a great woman. Best of luck.

Wildcard is awesome.
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01-07-2012, 10:34 PM
Post: #6
RE: Growing up
Its definately a hard when you feel responsible for something that you didn't create. We always have a decision and many people don't make the hardest ones. I don't know your spiritual status but I will just say that faith makes it easier. Its gift you see. The only advice I'll give you is not to worry about the thirteen year old. At that age their minds are very impreshnable but mostly because they think their right about all the things that they have no idea how to resonably process in their minds. They don't have the wisdom to comprehend the angles. With younger children it easier to place the thought of what is and is not important in their psycosocial reasoning of reality and the fantasy that was created through circumstance. The important thing is to love and to feel loved, not so much who it is that loves and that feels the love. Its bothersome to see confusion in a small child if you never experienced that same confusion. It hurts just to think about it. While hard work can carry you so far, without faith, the anthills feels like mountains.

Fistfull of xanax
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01-07-2012, 10:44 PM
Post: #7
RE: Growing up
Ladies and gentleman, the reverend Lannister Tongue

Wildcard is awesome.
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01-08-2012, 12:08 AM
Post: #8
RE: Growing up
would raising the kid together with your mom be a problem?it's very hard doing on your own when you have a job as well,children that age need somebody they can trust, around all the time.Just follow your heart,darling,you'll be fine.

as with his confusion about his dad,i would just tell him the truth about the matter,very important i think,9 is not as young as you might think

consistency is the hobdob
of small minds[
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01-08-2012, 08:23 AM
Post: #9
RE: Growing up
I agree. The child deserves to know the truth and the quicker you tell him the better.

Wildcard is awesome.
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