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    The worst thing about anxiety is that everything about it is the worst thing. Another issue is that most people just brush it off. At least, the people I know do. They don't understand how hard it sometimes is. Let me give you an example:

    Im out of town for the month, mostly house hunting and spending time with my sister. So the day went well, yesterday I had a terrible stomach pain so today I spent the day reading and relaxing with warm drinks. Sounds great right. It was. Then the sun went down.

    Most people will tell you that anxiety gets worse at night. It's true. As everyone started relaxing and laying down to sleep I was suddenly gripped by the fear that something terrible was going to happen. The worst part was I didn't know why I felt this way. So my brain decided I was going to be murdered by a vengeful demon/ghost right as I drifted off to sleep.

    So I did what most do...

    I called my girlfriend and whined like a big baby about the pantry ghost trying to kill me over (possibly) a half empty can of Pringles.

    It made more since to me in the moment.

    After she had managed to calm me down and I was even laughing over all the scenarios we came up with about the evil pantry presence and what dastardly plans he had for a full bottle of vodka and a box of frosted flakes, I felt I was ready to go to sleep. So we exchanged "love you's" and hung up. I laid down, close my eyes, and sighed happily since my fear was now over.


    Then I felt a pain in my side.

    More specifically it was on my left under my ribs and felt like someone had shoved a baseball in there. So thats what I googled on my phone.

    Heart attack, google told me I was having a heart attack.

    At first a laughed it off, rolled my eyes and pushed my phone farther away from myself. Then I kept repeating what I had read over and over in my head.

    Soon, I was questioning what I was feeling. Whether I was short of breath. Was that a chill from the temperature or was my body trembling? Was I sweating out of fear or from my heart giving out? Was that In n Out burger I had for a quick dinner what pushed my heart over the edge and sealed my fait!?

    I found myself clutching my chest and feeling my pulse, tossing and turning, waiting for my dying breath. Then I sat up.

    I felt something rumble in my side before I let out one of the biggest burps of my life.

    Yes people, thats right. I panicked over a bit of gas.

    I spent the next five minutes glaring at the Dr Pepper can sitting on my side table like it had personally offended me and disrespected my mother.

    Now I find myself worrying about how I eat. Maybe I should go on a diet, eat better, give up junk food, meditate, swear off processed sugar and become vegan.

    The only thing I know for sure is, having anxiety sucks. And I'll beg my girlfriend to never let me leave the house without my medication ever again.
    (06-09-2017, 04:55 AM)sreijantje Wrote:  my anxiety only manifests itself when I used marine muscle I'm asleep[I think}

    I find the opposite. My anxiety goes down at night. It's the day time that's bad for me.
    (This post was last modified: 01-02-2018, 03:13 AM by Bruening.)
    my anxiety only manifests itself when I'm asleep[I think}

    consistency is the hobdob
    of small minds[

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