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Abortion and World Hunger
#1
Lightbulb 
Over the decades, as the world's population has continued to grow unchecked, a number of important concerns have crept up. Of course there's the problem of meeting the nutritional demands of our growing population, and the problem of overpopulation, and worst of all, there is the growing problem of young women ruining their figures by getting knocked up. In an effort to quell the latter two problems, the U.S. government has been hard at work ensuring that abortion is widely available to all women, so they needn't worry so much about such pesky things as birth control, and technologies like RU486 have been made readily available for Do-It-Yourselfers to starve the little inconveniences should they crop up.


The fight against overpopulation is strong, and in 2008, we were averaging 3,322 exterminations per day in the states. But alas, humans very prolific and we have a long way to go. It is hoped that new tactile relay technology, combined with advances in VR imaging and social media, will make future generations more inclined toward virtual sex, as well as make them less fit and attractive, such as to keep many of them from actually copulating. Even with such technology, more drastic measures will surely be needed.


While we have made great strides to curb population growth, our current efforts to have not addressed the problem of how to feed the people who are already here. It seems to me, though, that the solution should be obvious. Abortion is legal during all nine months of pregnancy, and with each one comes a lump of tender flesh weighing up to 9 1/2 pounds. Even though only 1.5% of these terminations happen after 21 weeks of development, this would still represent over 18,300 well developed fetuses (fetii?) per year. Smaller, more snack sized fetuses are aborted by the hundreds of thousands each year, and all of this fresh, tender meat is just thrown in the trash while global warming, civil unrest, and poverty continue to leave millions of people around the world without proper nutrition. What a tragic waste of resources.


While cannibalism has gone out of style in recent times, it has been a time-honored tradition in many cultures for centuries. Once people get a taste for these tender treats, it is almost certain that the stigma surrounding cannibalism will fade and demand for this delicacy will grow rapidly. The great thing about aborted fetuses is that the termination method in many cases provides rudimentary processing. For example, the D & C and D & E methods dismember the fetus, making it ready for baby-nuggets, the D & X method delivers the headless body whole which is excellent for roasts, and the saline method is ideal for making baby-jerky right in the womb. Also, as demand grows, we could expand markets overseas and begin importing exotic meats so there wouldn't be so many starving children in poverty stricken, but no less horny nations.


Finally, it would seem only fair to compensate cattle, er I mean women for their contribution to fighting world hunger and the sacrifice of looking fat, and if we pay by the pound, there will be an incentive for these women to carry into the final trimester, and this would regulate the pace of demand. Furthermore, as the abortion industry grows in response to demand for quality meat, the economic benefits would be huge.


... And if you don't think we could ever make something like this happen, I have only three words for you...

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQz59btH5uFj5S8ioJE4RH...hO7VN3rOM2]
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